I watched two TV programmes last night that set me thinking about the lessons, values we want to teach Julien. It may seem too early to even think about this, since my baby is still trying to learn all about his psycho-motor skills, but given its importance, I guess it is never too early to give it some thought...
The first programme is X-weighted, a lose-weight programme for people who want expert help. I know there are tons of such shows around, but this one struck me as slightly different, being much more no-nonsense and the subject, young first-time mother Gaia, was very committed. In one of the scenes, she reveals that besides being motivated to achieve a slimmer figure, she wants to be an example to her daughter. An example in that she is finally taking some practical steps to do something about her overweight figure, which has plagued her all her growing-up years and caused her to lose self-esteem and have little love for herself. I was struck by her words that she wants her girl to be able to see her as an example and learn to deal with everyday problems in a practical manner, by implication devoid of the emotional upset and self-doubt that she had put herself through. I can so totally identify with that. It is so easy to get bogged down by the emotions when one is faced with problems that one loses sight of the most important thing - what to do about it.
The other thing that hit me is when she said that while she takes the utmost care in preparing fresh food for her daughter, she is stuffing herself with fries, because she has no time and her favourite drive-through fast food joint is round the corner. And the punchline - what is she going to say to her daughter, when one day the latter should ask her what's the deal with the food? Why is Mummy eating all these yummy junk, while she has to stick to the boring organic?
A wake-up call indeed. All my bad habits flash past me, as I think of all the possible things that Julien may say when he notices the double standards at home... We are all human, of course. and even mummies and daddies have their flaws. But do we let our children see that? Should we let them see that? I think not. Especially not when you want them to see you as a role model. And that is the hard truth that this programme brought home to me - it's time to grow up and be a stronger person. There is no time for being soft or farting about, rather, let's focus on the practical approach. Because a little one will be watching... and following...
In the second programme, My Family's Crazy Gap Year, a family takes one year off the normal grind of everyday life to go on a grand tour of Asia. The parents are motivated by the idea of exposing their children to life outside their comfortable, civilised, cocooned life and so decide to bring them to the Himalayas, Mongolia, Indonesia. Their three children range from 6 to 12 and through the programme, one can see the impact of this trip to remote and exotic corners of the world on not just the children, but the whole family. In all three places, they stayed with host families and helped out in daily chores. In Mongolia, the children started from learning how to chop wood to how to herd sheep. And they watched their own breakfast being made - Dad chose and caught the sheep from the pen, the host family killed it in front of them, and they ate it after it was freshly cooked, all in the space of 3 hours. It is a shocking scene, but it does show the children where the meat on the dinner table comes from and teach them to respect and appreciate the animal that "gave up" its life. In the Himalayas, they managed to engineer a meeting with the Dalai Lama and in Indonesia, they managed to track down an indigenous tribe that has never seen white children. They were accepted and welcomed by the tribe and were taught how to shoot and fish in their traditional ways.
We watched it together, and I said that it sure is a good way for children to learn that the world is not just limited to the kind of life they experienced at home. I mean, before I left Singapore, I had thought all airports would be like Changi Airportand was rather shocked when I realised Changi Airport is more the exception than the rule! And Daddy Low started doing some counting and announced that by the time we can afford to bring Julien and his siblings, if any, on such a trip, he would be 50! And there you go - the practical angle that I overlooked. But that is not to say a practical approach cannot sort this out - we just have to work hard and earn that money! For us to spend it on an experience of a lifetime! :)
Of course, I know it is easier said than done. To do such a thing would require a certain parenting attitude as well. I think, despite all my outdoorsy attributes (or whatever that is left of it, these days, am just too "nuah"). I would have worried about malaria, cholera etc etc...
So, you see, parenting is a big minefield to negotiate indeed. If not a minefield, then at least a very serious, mind-boggling mission indeed. And it would take more than nerves of steel for this. One would need to know what one wants and work on achieving it. Time for a discussion, Daddy Low!
X-Weighted - Episode Gaia
My Family's Crazy Gap Year - The Willmott Family
no need to discuss.
ReplyDeletejust do it.
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