That's where all the Chinese are!

Today, I stepped into Wing Yip, one of the big Asian supermarkets in London for the first time. And I have to say I am impressed. It is big with rows of Asian foodstuffs arranged neatly. Its brightly lit interior looks new, clean and professional. As a consumer, I felt assured that the products here would be fresh and safe, so in terms of presentation, they have definitely scored.

As I explored the place and walked down each aisle, I saw there is great variety in the products, so they scored well on choice as well. The fresh produce such as the vegetables and meats also look much fresher and greater in variety than the Asian shop in Milton Keynes.

For me, the whole experience was simply surreal. I felt like I had popped into one of those amazing lands in the Faraway Tree in Enid Blyton's Enchanted Forest series or Willy Wonka's amazing chocolate factory. It was like walking into a wonderland of goodies. Very suaku, I know :)

Then, we walked into the cafe next door to buy some roast meats. And that is a real good find, because I was told that they have roast pork, roast char siew and roast duck. The beef brisket and hor fun here also come with very good recommendations. In a corner, they have a little confectionery selling egg tarts, Bo lo pao etc. I am liking this shop more and more.

And there is more good news. Next door to the cafe is a dim sum restaurant. And the dim sum there is reputedly quite good. Already, in my mind, I was thinking that in future, we can make grocery shopping here a weekend outing and stay on for lunch.

And that's when it hits me. That's right, that's where all the Chinese are. As I looked about, there are indeed Chinese everywhere, especially in the restaurants. Undoubtedly, Chinese food is a Chinese-magnet.

There is something about food and culture. You can't divorce the two, even if cuisine appears to be only such a superficial physical manifestation of culture. Somehow, the tastes of food one has been familiar with since young evokes in one a great sense of assurance and wellbeing and you know you are "home". I find it difficult to go without rice or noodles for 2 days and honestly can only regard bread largely as a breakfast food item.

Overseas though, most Chinese one meets are Cantonese, speaking this melodious language. There is a lovely dim sum place in Milton Keynes that we like and frequent. But every time we go, I don't feel Chinese and definitely, don't feel being regarded as one. Clearly, the ability to speak Cantonese is the key to this exclusive club. You can tell, because with English-speaking people, the servers are just professional and polite and their eyes sort of gloss over and they just take your orders in their professional voices and leave. Now, if you speak Cantonese, they joke and chat with you while taking your orders. And more likely than not, recommend things not on the menu too!

When I stopped work, my former students and friends used to call me "the tai-tai". But I have always known that unless you speak Cantonese and are adept at mahjong, you are far from tai-tai-hood! Time to watch some Cantonese drama then and do some serious pong-ing again! :)

PS: Funnily, Wing Yip's tagline is "all the Chinese you need to know", which I thought is very funny, yet smart. Who needs to know so many Chinese when you can get to a large, friendly Asian supermarket to get your Asian fixes? Hahaha...

Triumph oh so sweet!

I picked up a leaflet at the health visitor's, drawn by its heading "Not Naughty, but Normal". Somehow, it seemed to call out to me, to answer the issue close to my heart these few days - "Why is Julien being so difficult these few days? Has he turned naughty?"

And I am glad I did, for in it I found assurance in these words:

1. Babies and toddlers grow up very quickly! Many parents don't fully understand their babies' and toddlers' changing needs and quite "normal" behavior may be misunderstood.

2. Crying is the only way babies can communicate their needs, such as hunger or discomfort. If your baby's crying is getting to you, take a deep breath and let it out slowly, put the baby down in a safe place, like a cot or pram, and take a break. If possible, ask your partner, a friend or relative to take over for a while.

3. Once babies get on the move and become toddlers, they can often seem even more demanding. Sometimes, their behavior can be difficult to understand and what is quite normal behavior can be misinterpreted as naughty or - worse still - deliberately wicked. Refusing to eat, resisting bedtimes, not co-operating with toilet training, being negative, crying every time you leave the room, temper tantrums, biting and other forms of seemingly anti-social behavior are all normal. But they can also be very stressful to parents. Try to understand why your toddler is acting this way. They are exploring their expanding world, learning to be independent, testing their own limits - and yours - and they do not really understand the needs of others. Also, recognize that toddlers have different needs and personalities - for example, they don't all need the same amounts of food or sleep, while some are more sociable than others.

4. Up until they're about 18 months or more, it isn't possible for children to be deliberately naughty, because they don't mean to do anything wrong... If one-year-olds discover the exciting splashing sounds and patterns of dropping food on the floor, they are likely to repeat it again... and again. If you get angry, they will be puzzled, because they won't connect your anger with their behavior.

Right, I guess if I think with the mind of a toddler, I would be puzzled too why my mum is upset with me for dropping my food on the floor; can't she see the interesting splattered pattern on the floor and the cute "splat" sound of the impact? And what about the beautiful swirls of colours? :)

So, I started today with a positive mindset, determined to be more relaxed and easy on myself and Julien. I allowed both of us to sleep later, thinking that I should let myself get enough rest to aid milk supply. The past few days, I had been intent on getting us to change our sleeping patterns - to wake up earlier and sleep earlier - and it had been tough for everyone. So, today, Julien and I slept till 11am, then I gave him a feed. When I checked his diaper, he had done a World War 3, so I decided to give him a bath instead of just a diaper change. We had a nice time; he really liked the water. I dressed him and put him down on the bed, while I got down to clearing away the bathing stuff. And that's when trouble started...

Julien began to cry. It was a whimper at first before becoming a full blown bawling.

And I have to admit, that somehow, it was easier to bear, now that I had already experienced it before. I made myself finish clearing up, before coming to his side. Hie eyes were screwed shut, as he focused on wailing. An idea hit me and I decided to try it out - I sat beside him, talking to him, patting him, soothing him, but never once did I pick him up. And amazingly, he quietened down and soon fell asleep! I couldn't believe it and felt really elated. I decided to swaddle him, having heard how babies sleep better, swaddled. And he did sleep more soundly and for a decently long time too!

I was then able to go prepare my own food and have a nice brunch. When he was 2 hours into his nap, I skyped with Mummy and Daddy Chong. And shared my stroke of good luck. I told them how I had read that at two months, we can start sleep training and that the first step is to change Baby's feeds to once every four hours. This will ensure that he is hungry enough to have a fuller feed to last him longer, thus allowing him to sleep longer. And this would also mean that my breasts get more time to make more milk, and I get more off-baby time to do my own stuff, so it's a win-win situation for all. The only problem is how am I to help Julien stave off the hunger and persuade him to wait longer for his next feed?

And Mummy Chong gave the answer - give Baby a bottle of warm water.

Apparently, this was what the nurses told her to do, when she had us as little babies. And she was also told to space out the feeding time, when the babies grow older. I wish I was imparted this bit of wisdom! Instead, I was just instructed to feed on demand. And even then, I discovered through my research later on, that this term "feed on demand" has been so misunderstood by so many new mothers - that babies cry for many reasons and not just for food, so it is important to not just offer a feed every time the baby cries, but to check for signs instead. And if we feed on demand, which appears to be every 2 hourly for many babies, we end up encouraging the bad habit of snacking rather than having a proper feed. And this can be detrimental to sleep training later on.

Enlightened, I resolved to try these tips out. And true enough, Julien woke up one hour before his feed and started making suckling actions with his mouth, wanting a feed. I was ready with a bottle of warm water and by then he was starting to feel desperate and crying. I gave him the bottle and miraculously, he took it greedily. He finished 2oz at one go. Then, he rested a bit before starting again, so in went the bottle again. And this time, he wiped off another 2oz, before falling asleep. I was ecstatic. I had managed to prolong his next real feed.

When he awoke again for his feed, it was right on time - 4 hours later. I fed him again and after that, we decided to head out, so Julien had the treat of visiting Costco. We had him in a Baby Bjorn carrier and for the first time, we set him facing outwards, so that he could look around. Julien was so wide awake and so curious, looking everywhere, like he was really checking out the place. We were so happy to see him exploring the world around him!

The rest of the evening was as much of a great day as the beginning. He continued to last for about 3 hours before demanding his next feed, but was again successfully persuaded to take water before his real feed at the 4 hour mark. The only difference we noticed was that on the 2 occasions he cried in the evening, it was because he was unhappy with his diaper. Apparently, they had become a lot heavier with all the water he was drinking. Once changed, he was happy as a bird again, and cooing away. And we managed to have dinner and watch a movie too.

The last new thing we tried was to put up a newly bought mobile on his cot bed. We left him there, nicely swaddled, looking at the mobile. And when I checked on him half an hour later, he was still staring at the moving parts, so intrigued that he never even noticed me. When I checked on him a second time, the dear boy had fallen sound asleep.

And with that, I can say that this has been a truly good day. I feel contented and a definite sense of triumph! Success never felt so sweet! :)

A Lesson about Experience and Love

I think the lesson I learnt today is that every day of parenting a baby, or simply parenting, is a continual process that can get better or even, unbelievably, also regress. By this, I mean that I made a mistake, when I assumed that we have progressed, that Baby has been a darling and definitely a genius for coming back to bottle-feeding and getting into a routine so quickly - basically a 360 degree improvement in one day.

Because today is another frazzling day. So, if I had thought we took a step forward a few days ago and we can only go forward now, I learn today that I was so wrong. That with children, one has to expect all sorts of forward and backward steps, good days and bad. That I have to be more patient and relax. That I can simply breathe and enjoy the moment(s).

Julien was irritable right from the start. He settled down a bit after his first feed of the day, after which I slipped off to have my shower, leaving him in Daddy Low's safe arms. And near the end of my shower, I heard him crying and crying and crying... so, no more co-operative baby today...

Luckily, I spoke to my parents today and Grandpa and Grandma Chong told me something interesting that I did not think about before - that perhaps, the milk flow is too slow now for Julien, now that he is older. My dad said that they had to change teats everytime we kids rejected a bottle. Then, the tip of the day from Grandma Chong - enlarge the teat by cutting a little cross where it used to be the pin hole. I followed the advice and voila! Julien took a bottlefeed after that! :)  I wondered why I never thought of this before...

Having my dinner was another nerve-wrecking affair.  He would cry every time I put him down, so finally I got him to sleep and started to have my dinner, but halfway through my dinner, he woke up and started to cry. I told myself to leave him be and he would learn that crying does not bring Mummy running to his side. I have to say I think I left him crying for only a minute or two and could hardly bear it myself. In the end, I gave in and picked him up when I heard him choking while crying. His face was red and wet with tears and mine was nearly too - I was really trying hard to hold back my own tears, hearing him cry so piteously. But I have to admit that he was coming to no harm, having been fed and wrapped up warmly against the cold. And in fact, he was soon calm and happy again shortly after I picked him up, making me feel like a fool.  His mood then almost makes it seem like he has been like that all along: what crying, Mummy?!!

Later at night, an online chat with another mummy fren surfaced tips about sleeping routines and habits. Felt great to speak to another adult, an adult who understands what I am going through! Besides feeling assured, I also came away thinking that I have been treating myself a bit hard -  Instead of shutting myself up in my own misery, I should be asking for advice and tips from those more experienced and who have gone the same way before.

And really, I have to count my blessings. Daddy Low has been really very understanding and supportive these few days, when I have been snappy and edgy. Today, he even made me a big breakfast (everything there, just short of the bacon - calories that I really don't need :) as well as steamed sea bream for lunch. And double portions of rice too to help get that milk going. He knows that is bothering me and he will do anything to make me feel better. I am a lucky girl and very thankful for such a great husband indeed! :)

A Perfect Day

It is tomorrow and I am certain that it will be a better day.  

In fact, I have decided to make it a point to wake up early and set a new routine for Julien and me. On Tuesday mornings, for half an hour, the Central Library here holds a special Song and Rhymetime session for babies.  I am a bit skeptical that babies can make much sense of it, but C, who has brought her daughter there many times highly recommends it, saying that they often do the same few songs and the babies, after a few sessions, do pick up on the actions and learn what to expect next, so it's all a lot of fun and much developmental learning. 

So, I followed the command of my alarm clock and dressed myself and Julien before waking Daddy Low to drive us to the library. We arrived shortly after 10am and the activity area in the Children's section was already full of mummies, babies, toddlers and prams. Shortly after we sat down, the session went into full swing. The lady leading was wonderful, full of energy and engaging both children and adults alike. We sang song after song and accompanied them with actions. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and was an avid learner, keen to remember every single song and action, so that Julien and I can do the songs together at home (I have decided that we shall have a sing-along session together in the afternoons). They handed out little bells and we shook these to the beat of the songs. Daddy Low and I were totally absorbed and totally awake by the time we were done.

And Julien, my darling boy, slept through it all.

Yup, Jules slept through it all. And my guess is that, he slept through it all, 'cos he was simply tired out from yesterday's lack of sleep. And I have to say we are both amazed at how soundly he slept through it all. We were singing and waving his hands and moving his feet to stomp together with everyone else. He didn't even opened an eyelid. Then, we were shaking the bells and swaying his body to follow the rhythm of the songs. And his body remained limp and heavy under the spell of sleep; the only thing moving was his head lolling from side to side, at which point we decided it was too dangerous to sway him. 

At the end of the session, a lady came up to us to say how she had been admiring our baby during the session, that he is so cute and adorable ... even if he was asleep throughout the session. I wasn't offended, but I sure thought it was a funny way to make a first impression.

Jules did not wake up till 1pm when we were done having lunch. And following Daddy Low's spot-on guess that Jules might be cold and thus irritable the previous day, I made sure that I heated up wherever he was lying down - the buggy, the playmat, the moses basket etc - with a microwave-baked thermal bag, and covered him snugly with a blanket. And this worked wonders - he was a great baby for the rest of the day.

I was still trying to get him to take the bottle and I told him nicely before the feed that Mummy would be really pleased if he would be a good boy and take the bottle. He looked at me, cooing and listening. I gave him the bottle and after a bit of a resistance, he did take the bottle and finished his milk. Then, he had a nap before waking up again for another feed, but sadly, I could not persuade him to take the bottle again, but at least he took it once and I am satisfied at this baby step.

We had a sing-along session after that, doing his favourite "Hey, diddle diddle" and other songs we learnt in the morning. He cooed and giggled at some of the actions, especially when he was tickled. We had a long conversation after that, a one-word conversation with his favourite word "ang-guh". Then, he went to bed at 7pm after another feed.

I think, short of him calling me "Mama", I couldn't ask for a better day :)

Running on Empty

I'm so dead tired today and frankly very angry at how the day has turned out, so am just so glad that I have the blog as an outlet to vent my frustrations.

1. All the visitors are gone and there won't be anymore long-term stay visitors for a while. The company and help was great, but frankly, parents for 10 weeks make life pretty surreal when you are in your mid-thirties and way too cushy with all the ready help... So, honestly, I am relieved. I think now that I can start trying to get Julien and me into a routine for our real-life reality of everyday life (what a mouthful, but the phrase encapsulated exactly what I want to say), but yes, the cushioned life with all the help certainly does not make for a soft landing when we try to make our transition ... And my experience on Day One is certainly a cold turkey testimony of that!

2. So, I have all these laundry to clear and the house is in a mess, but luckily for me, dear Daddy Low was extra nice enough to clean up the house without my asking... so sweet of him 'cos I was so tired that, for the first time since delivery, I crashed into bed at around 10pm, the earliest sleeping time I can remember! So, the house's sorted on the last day before we return to the grind (Daddy Low having been on leave since last Wednesday when we sent the in-laws to the airport). But that still leaves the laundry, so the laundry room is piling up with dirty laundry and the ironing room is piling up with cleaned laundry waiting to be ironed...

3. Recently, Julien seems to be increasingly irritable. He cries more easily and does not like to be put down to lie on his own. In the past, he would have been occupied just looking at the mobile attached to his playmat or buggy. Now, he just bawls the minute he is put to lie down!

4. And to make matters worse, he seems to have taken a dislike to the bottle, in fact, dislike to the point of rejection. Many times, he was clearly hungry, but refused to be bottle-fed. No matter how we both tried, he would just roll the teat of the bottle around in his mouth before finally starting to cry and pushing the teat out.

5. And that is not the worst yet - today, I seem to have no milk in me! By this stage (of Jules at 2 months old), my breasts seem to have worked out how much milk he needs and exactly when he needs to feed. For the past week, I have experienced a distinct tingling sensation every time the milk starts to flow at feeding time. And either shortly before the let-down of milk or shortly after, Julien would show signs of wanting to be fed.  And at every feed, you can hear him gulping fairly quickly after he starts sucking, so I know the amount and speed of flow are both good. But today, I did not feel the let-down reflex much nor hear the gulping sound; it was more of a muted drinking - there was milk alright, but not as much... And the bad news? It is not enough! My poor boy was clearly hungry much of the whole day.

6. To top off the cake, he had boundless energy. Now that I have him to myself with no distraction the whole day, I found, to my horror, that he he does not seem to want much of a nap. He wanted to "talk" or play the whole time and would, at most, take power naps! And by that, I mean a quickie nap after a quickie feed - Once I put him down, he would wake soon after, like in about 15min. I steeled my heart at first to let him cry, but truthfully, I could not stand that bawling for very long. He certainly outlasted me there :(

So, this is my disaster of a day. An irritable, hungry baby that refused to lie on his own or nap and reject the bottle when he is hungry and I have little milk. It was a nightmare and I felt angry, yet helpless, because it is clear to me that everything is linked. He could not nap long or deeply enough, because he had an empty stomach. And the constant hunger pangs means that he would not lie on his own either and the usual toy and mobile could not work its usual magic. And no proper nap means an irritable baby, even if he is a drowsy one. I can see him rubbing his eyes, so he is tired, but just could not sleep. And as the day wore on, his cries became louder and more "unpacifiable".  All this makes for a very exhausted and helpless-feeling mummy, and very on the edge too!

So, there I was the whole day, driven up the wall by his incessant need to be carried, cos that was the only thing that would pacify him and stop the crying. I was at the end of my wits, not being able to do anything to improve his situation or mine - I could hardly fix myself a meal or go to the toilet. In the end, I did harden my heart and left him crying for a while, so that I could finish cooking dinner and nip into the toilet. And throughout the whole day, I was desperately downing milk and water in a bid to improve milk supply, but which doesn't exactly help the toilet situation. I made myself eat one full cup of rice and vegetables and meat too, but could do little on the resting front. 

It is a wonder how I managed to get Julien to sleep at night. But I think he helped himself to sleep in the end, cos he was just exhausted flat-out by his hunger and lack of rest the whole day. When Daddy Low came home, he found us sound asleep side by side in the bed. And when Julien just woke me up for his night-feed, I was ecstatic to feel very engorged breasts and hear him gulping once latched on. Believe me, it is not an exaggeration when I say this is the sweetest sound I have heard the whole day!

I am just keeping my fingers crossed now that tomorrow will be a better day. Julien weighs 5.6kg at the weighing-in visit this morning. It's not a huge gain, but he is progressing well. I hope everything resumes to normal soon. I certainly don't want him affected in his growth. But please, please, please, for the sake of my sanity, give me a more cooperative baby tomorrow. Running on empty is no laughing matter and certainly not my forte!

Do Babies Dream?

A few times when I held Julien when he was asleep, he would break into a smile now and then. Sometimes, his face would wrinkle into a frown or even a grimace. A few times, he has actually suddenly started crying, and then just as suddenly gone all quiet and back to sleep, as though nothing has ever happened. And last Tuesday, when I was holding him while watching telly, he startled me by suddenly breaking into laughter! And then again went back to his gentle breathing straight after...

It makes me think - Is my little boy starting to dream? In the 7th week of his little life?!

I did some quick research online and this is what I found in dreamhawk.com:

"... a baby and child who have not learned to speak cannot think. We think with words. So during pre-speech there are only feeling responses or instinctive urges and fears to guide the child. The development of thinking only phases in gradually, and prior to that we learn from events and relationships, not ideas.

A dream puts into drama and images the processes, feelings and fears that lie behind our personal awareness. In a baby, an unimaginable amount of learning, adjustment, development of responses and body skills is taking place."

Wow! So, yes, it does seem little babies dream. And the first paragraph is interesting, for it raises the point that babies cannot think in words yet, but only in terms of events and relationships. I wonder how Julien perceives me then... Maybe as the huge face that looms towards him every time I lean forward to interact with him, the big hands that stretch forward followed by a rustling of paper and dryness after a diaper change? And goodness me, a big blob of flesh when I breastfeed him? Gosh, the world must be really scary from a baby's perspective. He must feel like Gulliver in his travel to the land of Blobdingnag!

So, why do babies dream? Why do we dream anyway? What is the function of dreams? In our IMD PDI experience last year, the Jungian therapist I worked with had shared with me that dreams are the outlet through we process events, problems, fears that we could not resolve when awake. That dreams help us to make sense and come to terms with knots in our lives... Perhaps, he is right, but if one needs a therapist to decipher your dreams for you, I can't see how my knots are any more straightened than before! I continue to wake up mystified!

Still, the second paragraph does make that point about dreams helping to aid learning. So, I guess the crying and the laughter must be Baby's reactions to his dreams as he goes through the high and low moments. Well, I do rather wish there is more laughter than crying, but maybe we will see more of that as we go along. I guess, being as small as a Liliputian must make him feel rather vulnerable, so there are probably more fears to work out in those dreams.

To soothe your baby, the website I read instructs thus:

"Your baby is incredibly sensitive to the sound of your voice, and your own state of calm or agitation lying behind the way your voice sounds. Therefore you can sit with your baby and imagine a situation in which you feel calm and loving. When you feel calm and strong, gently talk to your baby telling it you are holding it close in your love, and you are with it while it meets whatever is disturbing it. Tell it your love is the strength it can use, and imagine wrapping your baby in your calm and love."

Sounds just like how Harry Potter draws strength from his parents in times of crises. So, Julien, you need not be afraid. Daddy and Mummy will hold you close and talk to you if you are having disturbing dreams. As my Brazilian friends would say, "Dorme com os anjos!"

http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/baby-dreams/

le Petit Julien

Manneken Pis (literally "little man pee" in Dutch) is a famous Brussels landmark. Basically, it is a small bronze fountain sculpture of a naked little boy urinating into the fountain's basin. Interestingly, the French call this sculpture 'le Petit Julien'. When I made this discovery, I could barely suppress my laughter, for this week, Baby Julien has indeed been giving us a lot to think about pee.

We have been warned during antenatal class that baby boys tend to give showers of blessings when you open their diapers. Presumably, their little brother down there responds quickly in this fashion when exposed to cold air. At the beginning, I was always watching out for this spray, but Jules has been really nice and we hardly had any issues except for once or twice. Gradually, I let my guard down and no longer bothered to cover it up with a wet wipe or hurry through the diaper change.

Everything was fine until recently...

In his 7th week of life, he started giving us a run for our money. Literally.

I had just given him a wipe-down and was trying to get him ready to go out. I had his new outfit ready by the side and had just applied some cream on him after wiping him dry. A new diaper is ready beside me and already opened up, just waiting to be put on. Everything was going well and I had the diaper in my hand, when I suddenly saw a jet of water coming and felt the warm spray on my hands. Just a bit shy of my clothes and I am already changed! So, that was close. I quickly took a tissue and started wiping up the pee collecting on the waterproof changing mat before it started dripping out. And just as I was doing that, another spray hit me. Stunned, it was all I could do to quickly grab another piece of tissue to start wiping again. And before I had even wiped up the second shower, he took a third hit. I was really amazed by now, but I guess even that amazement did not have much time to play out. Of course, you've guessed it, we had the fourth shower of blessing, by which time I was totally speechless and still no nearer to getting that nappy on his little elusive bum! By now, Daddy Low had come to check on us to see why we were taking so long and quickly took over while trying not to laugh. I told him to be glad that despite 4 attempts, I had escaped being hit in my new clothes; otherwise, I would have been very upset!

The next day, Daddy Low was similarly "blessed" - he had the same multiple-shower experience after bathing Julien. And this has been the case these few days now. We could not help laughing once, when Julien sprayed on his own face - his face was frozen for a split second in bewilderment before we wiped it away together with the pee.

Now, we are always on guard during nappy time. And our top tip? - have a piece of wet wipe lying over his little brother, so that even if there is output, it will be captured and there will be less of a mess and aftermath to clear. Otherwise, you will find yourself having to wash him all over again... unless you don't mind your baby smelling of pee!

There are a few legends behind the statue of Manneken Pis as recorded in Wikipedia. These are my two best favorites (if one may have 2) -

"The most famous legend is the one about Duke Godfrey III of Leuven. In 1142, the troops of this two-year-old lord were battling against the troops of the Berthouts, the lords of Grimbergen, in Ransbeke (now Neder-over-Heembeek). The troops put the infant lord in a basket and hung the basket in a tree to encourage them. From there, the boy urinated on the troops of the Berthouts, who eventually lost the battle.

Another legend states that in the 14th century, Brussels was under siege by a foreign power. The city had held its ground for some time, so the attackers conceived of a plan to place explosive charges at the city walls. A little boy named Julianske happened to be spying on them as they were preparing. He urinated on the burning fuse and thus saved the city. There was at the time (middle of the 15th century, perhaps as early as 1388) a similar statue made of stone. The statue was stolen several times. In 1619, it was replaced by the current bronze statue, created by Franco-Flemish Baroque sculptor Jerome Duquesnoy, father of the more famous François of the same last name."

As much as they sound incredulous, I like them very much. Julien's name, after all, is about victory and triumph :) For obvious reasons, I like the second one a little bit more - the boy-hero is Julien's namesake!

If you ask me, I think whichever legend is the real one is not important. Rather, I think the Belgians have got the key thing right - little boys piss a lot and it's rather potent pee too! Definitely something worth celebrating, I say! :)

Where are all the Chinese?

Not being often in a Western country, it is understandable how one can feel a bit unused to suddenly seeing mainly Caucasians all around. Thus, I was not surprised that my in-laws seem to feel that they have popped into a strangely amazing new land populated by white people with blue eyes and blond hair, having climbed up Enid Blyton's Faraway Tree in the Enchanted Forest.

And amusingly, my mum-in-law's constant refrain is: "Where are all the Chinese? Are there no Chinese here?" Clearly, the idea of identity comes to the fore especially strongly when one is in a foreign land, and we do seek comfort in being amongst our own kind. At the end of the day, no matter where we go, we are drawn back to our roots. After some observation, Mum-in-law remarked one day that there are Chinese here; they are mainly found in Chinese restaurants, either as employees there or as diners. After that, I would tease her by pointing out any Chinese we see around us, be it in the streets, in the malls and say, "There, Mother, there's a Chinese!"

But as I thought further about her words, I did start to wonder - Indeed, we do seem to mainly see the Chinese in Chinese restaurants and the second most frequented place seems to be the supermarket - After all, everyone needs to do their groceries! So then, where are the Chinese? Is there a community here? Is there some place where the community meets which we have yet to find out? Or does everyone just mind his own business and stay mainly at home with his own family? Eat only at home or in Chinese restaurants?

I think when I first arrived here, I was terribly homesick, the pangs probably also amplified by antenatal nausea and the stresses of the transition. Often, I would wonder if there is a Chinese network that we could hook up with. And there are times when I see another Chinese, that I feel much tempted to go up and introduce myself and start asking a million questions about the existence of the Chinese community, grocery shops or restaurants and hopefully, in the process, make some friends. But I never did.

Imagine my amazement then, when my in-laws tell me on 2 occasions, they have been approached by complete Chinese strangers, who wanted to find out where they were from. One was a Chinese from China who was just happy to see another Chinese face, while the other was a Malaysian with 2 children in tow. According to my in-laws, she had run up to them to ask where they are from, after she heard them speaking in Hokkien, the dialect she also speaks. She had apparently been really happy and excited to speak in her mother tongue again.

I started to wonder - Why had we never been approached before? We are Chinese, and definitely very Chinese-looking. And I would have thought a heavily pregnant Chinese woman and/or a Chinese woman with such a young baby would surely have made us more approachable for those interested to make contact with another of the same ethnicity.

But on deeper thinking, I suppose we do not really come across as being very chinesey Chinese; after all, Daddy Low and I converse mainly in English. Daddy Low also once pointed out to me that we always seem to be the only Chinese in most places we visit or dine in. Presumably, our tastes are perhaps more adventurous that the typical Chinese? That we are more able to accept and appreciate the things Westerners enjoy... For example, being foodies, we like to explore local cuisine, so weekends often find us in some local pub or restaurant checking out the food. And Daddy Low and I often joked that the locals must be thinking - Where did these Chinese come from? Who are they? How did they find our little village, our little pub? What exactly brings them there?!

Understanding that we are much anglicized makes me more aware of the ramifications on Julien. Having your Daddy and Mummy speak mostly in a foreign tongue is bad enough, but to stay in a foreign country on top of that just really cuts down on the chances of Julien learning his own mother tongue. And this is a common problem that many young English-educated Singaporean parents face. Hence, my Singaporean friends and I try to make it a point to speak Mandarin among ourselves and with our children. Luckily for me, I have grown used to hearing my mum speak to Julien in Mandarin when she was here and now it actually feels more natural for me to speak to Julien in our mother tongue, while Daddy Low speaks to him in English.

Ironically, after years of finding the Singaporean government's penchant for campaigns funny, including the Speak Mandarin campaign, we have our very own self-styled mini Speak Mandarin Campaign now that we are overseas. So, Julien, let's 讲华语! :)

First Vaccination - the BCG!

Today, Julien had his first vaccination - the BCG (Bacillus-Calmette-Guerin). Apparently, he should have been given this jab in the hospital after birth, but somehow, it ended up being now, 7 weeks later. As we prepared to go to the hospital, I was starting to feel worried. In fact, I have started to feel anxious since yesterday. Daddy Low thinks it's funny, 'cos Julien's the one getting the jab, not me. But I can't explain it; I had felt the same sense of dread when the girls (our dogs) were sent to be spayed as well. Just the emotional one in me coming to the fore, I guess.

Anyway, we reached the hospital and everything happened very quickly after that. In fact, this was probably the fastest we have ever been seen to in our experience with the hospitals here. No wait, no fuss, no long or messy paperwork. We were called in straight after we arrived, and ushered into the vaccination room of the TB Unit. Indeed, I was surprised when the nurse who ushered us actually just picked up our baby car-seat in one effortless swoop, seeing as how we were one holding the baby and the other, the huge baby bag. I had the feeling we were in some sort of blitz operation, one that was not going to be enjoyable and they are trying to do all they can to make it so fast that (1) you have no time to reconsider and make a last-minute decision to jump ship and (2) it is quickly done and over with. The feeling was reinforced when you notice the ushering nurse was dressed in a distinct white-and-black uniform that screamed authority, especially when draped over her burly and sturdily built body... as was the same with another similarly built and dressed ushering nurse standing in front of another door with folded arms over her chest. Guess that was why they felt more like bodyguards to me...

In the vaccination room, we were seated down and given a leaflet to read about the BCG vaccination, then asked by the nurse-in-charge why we did not have the injection in hospital after birth, followed in quick succession by why we chose the other town's hospital instead of this local one. And with this nurse, being the senior, full-of-experience, I-am-in-charge, matronly type, it felt more like an interrogation really.

In the leaflet, I read this part, which she also made a special point of drawing my attention to:

"Immediately after the injection, a raised blister will appear.  This shows that the injection has been given properly.  Within two to six weeks of the injection, a small spot will appear.  This may be quite sore for a few days, but it should gradually heal if you don't cover it. It may leave a small scar. Occasionally, your baby may develop a shallow sore where he had the injection. If this is oozing fluid and needs to be covered, use a dry dressing - never a plaster - until a scab forms. This sore may take as long as several months to heal."

I can deal with a scar, but oozing fluid?! My worry climbed another notch...

The matronly TB Unit nurse motioned us to put Julien on the examination bed. She started to explain what would happen next - that she would insert the needle under the skin for the injection. And if Baby jerked or wriggled too much and the insertion was not accurate, she would have to "keep doing it" (her exact words) until it was right, and all the while she said this, she was looking grim. Then, she asked who would be holding Julien, because a "firm hold" was needed. And almost immediately after, she said, "So it will be Daddy?" and it was more of a statement than a question really. I guess her experience was that the daddy is the one with the stronger and steadier hold. And probably, it was quite apparent that it wasn't gonna be me... (haha).

So, Daddy Low held Julien down and the Nurse switched on a powerful light. Then, she took out the needle. It was a normal needle really, but I was feeling the dread in me rising already. Ok, I admit, I don't like needles, but I am not the type to scream in pain or cry etc; I simply look away, when I know the needle is coming in... But now that it was not me who was receiving the jab, but someone dear to me, I felt compelled to watch, even if I could have looked away. It's like that perverse sense of anticipation one has for watching horror films (which I used to feel drawn to watch and my mum was my best horror film viewing partner - we were both scared, but still want to watch anyway, so would draw courage from each other... peeping behind our hands of course...)...

So, I saw her place the needle against Julien's skin, then I saw it enter. And I quickly looked at Julien's face... And my poor boy, who was slumbering before that, suddenly scrunched up his face and burst into loud violent bawling. So violent that his whole face turned red. I think I sort of flew into a panicky sort of fretting, though I did not show it outwardly (this is the art of adult deception to fit in with social norms, Julien - you never show your panic, or you become a loser and lose all credibility!). And I was enormously glad that I was not the one holding Baby, lest I am the one who jerked even if he didn't!

Daddy Low did an admirable job of giving a firm hold (Steadiness is clearly a trait of military men :) And it was over in a minute - the needle was out and Baby was dressed and I was called to sit beside the Nurse at the table, who has now efficiently moved on to the paperwork and giving me brisk instructions regarding post-injection care about bathing etc, while her pen flew away. I felt almost in a daze.

And finally, she gave us a smile and said that it was all done and it went well. And I think to myself, "Thanks, love, that smile could have come earlier and saved me the emotional turmoil." Coming now only makes it feel like we have completed some super dangerous mission, crossing behind enemy lines and taking down some heavy duty artillery, tankers etc.

Later, Daddy Low told me tat he thought it was a good thing that Julien had the BCG injection now that he is older rather than at birth, when we would have been still frazzled with learning the ropes of how to care for a baby plus me still recovering. He went on about how Julien was so brave and only cried a bit and calmed down soon after and how the nurse was great, being very experienced, confident and knew exactly what she was doing... And I think to myself - Ok, so it seems like a walk in the park for Daddy Low and I am a bag of nerves... But melodrama or not, you tell me... I am surely not the only first-time mummy to feel all jellylike when my dear little one is going for injection in such a tension-overloaded environment with matching stressful cues! :)


PS: And it is not funny, Daddy Low! Stop laughing! Bleah!

Julien's First Membership Card

Julien received his first membership card today. Plus a secret PIN to boot!

In the Bookstart free pack, I had read that Julien can sign up to be a library member, so I decided to have a productive afternoon and pushed him to the library.

The library was really small, consisting of 3 small rooms only. In fact, it was sharing the same entrance as a church and other offices. Inside, one room catered to fiction, another non-fiction plus one more for children. The book selection was small, but I was impressed.

Impressed that there is enough conviction in the importance of reading to make room for a library, no matter how small the rooms. No doubt, the library is constantly refreshing its stock, so it doesn't really matter that it has limited space. Impressed that there is a strong enough conviction to serve the people by having little libraries in every little neighborhood, given that the Central Library is not too far away.

I, for one, felt the positive impact, since I am not very mobile these days, not having my own set of wheels. So, having a little library within walking distance really helps. And it's a great reason to push baby out and give myself some exercise.

In the end, it is the adults who are thrilled and impressed that Julien has a library card; Jules was totally nonplussed, of course :) We opened a bottle of wine to mark and celebrate this occasion. I think my mum-in-law was especially thrilled by it, probably enthused by her own memories of bringing Daddy Low and his sister to the library in their childhood days. With his library card, Jules can borrow both books and audio tapes and the PIN allows him to reserve books online or extend his loans. Now, how's that for equal membership rights regardless of age?!

A Weighty Issue

One of the perks of pregnancy is to be able to pile on the weight without feeling guilty about it. That is not to say that one then goes on to pig out senselessly, but it does mean that one does not feel so conscious of one's increasingly more and more noticeable bump straining against one's clothes. And indeed, this is one of the best freedoms I enjoyed as a preggie - big and growing, and in fact, proud of it!

After the delivery, this perspective changes dramatically. Even though it is normal and expected for a new mother to sport a little bump still, I do feel rather conscious of my bump. Where before, I would have been totally comfortable with this little mound sticking out like a kangaroo pouch, I now reject clothes which do not conceal it. Suddenly, the thought of sucking in my breath comes back, and it has been a long time since this idea has even any relevance in my daily life.

So, during my 6th week check-up today, I was much eager to check my weight, although it didn't even figure anywhere in the doctor's checklist. I was given the all-clear; everything was fine except for a reminder to do my pelvic exercises, which irrationally do not seem as important to me now as they did during my pregnancy. I then asked to weigh myself. And...

I have lost 7kgs! In 6 weeks! Yay! :)

To me, that is simply unbelievable. Unbelievable, because I don't feel a significant drop in weight.  For one, I still don't fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes; the only clothes I fit are my maternity ones, including those that I could wear in my 2nd trimester (if that's any sort of consolation). And the annoying thing is that when it comes to pants, one is stuck in that in-between stage - you no longer have the bump to hold up your pants, so it kinda gradually slips as you walk. Yet, you are not thin enough to go back to your skinny jeans...

The other thing that makes the weight loss incredible is I am still round and mumsy. I know I have always thought bigger boobs are nice, but not when they are still accompanied by a noticeable bump that leads anyone who doesn't know any better to think that I am still pregnant... 

In fact, I was convinced that I must have gained more kilos recently, going by the rate which I am eating to keep up with Julien's breastfeeding demands.

So, 7kg in 6 weeks really brings a big smile to my face. It is one of those rare times when you appreciate the data. especially when not being able to see the change as an observable fact. I also take great comfort from America's Next Top Model, when I watched Cycle 14 recently and found 2 candidates who each has a one-year old baby and yet sport lean, svelte figures... I mean, they did make it to the modelling competition, didn't they?! :)

And lastly, I am much encouraged by friends who have walked the same path - having babies and now back to their normal, pre-pregnancy figures or even better! I was told that there are 2 things that will make me regain my pre-pregnancy figure:

1. Breastfeeding
2. Pushimg baby out for a daily walk

That's it?! Apparently. My friends claimed that's how they so successfully shed their pounds. So now, there is an additional incentive to breastfeed and nothing is more effective at moving a woman than vanity (If you didn't know it before, looks are invariably tied to confidence for many a woman.).

Now, the second item - pushing baby out for a daily walk - has not exactly been something at the top of my to-do list till recently. In fact, I have been sorely amiss on the exercise front. I have only started thinking about exercise recently, when my frens and I were discussing flabby arms and jellylike tummies.  Interestingly, once you strt searching, you do turn up many interesting options...

There is pilates for mummies.  You can bring your babies to this class. So, you get out your mats and you start your lesson. If, at any point, your baby starts to bawl, it's alright, 'cos there are all these other potential timebombs, who may just go off anytime as well, so there is no need to feel embarrassed or panicky. Plus, the instructor, being a mother herself, has set up this class for mummies, because she understands the need for new mothers desperate for some exercise, so she is more than ready to walk over to your little one and rock him in his car seat and soothe him back to sleep while shouting instructions to you lovely mothers getting that stretch out of your bodies on your mats.

There is yoga and baby massage. This means part of the session has you stretching those loins and getting some deep breathing, while the rest of the time, you are walking those hand muscles, giving baby a nice relaxing massage.

There is "Push and Tone". Essentially, this class requires some basic equipment - you, baby and a baby buggy. So, baby is in his buggy and you are pushing him. And around you will be tons of other mothers and buggies and you are all walking briskly with your baby-laden buggies. Your baby gets a view and a sleep-inducing nap, while you get some toned leg and arm muscles.

So, I have many options. Definitely continuing the breastfeeding and pushing Baby for walks. And perhaps pilates... Or if nothing at all catches my fancy, there is always the luxury of personal training right in the comfort of home ...  yup, Mr. Wii! 

What will I Learn from my Mummy?

Visiting the village of Eversholt today, we picked up a copy of their local newsletter, The Fuddler, carrying local news, trivia and advertisements. I always find it endearing that in small villages like these, you have all these little concerns and gossip and not a care for the outside world. Anyway, I read some really funny contributions from locals:

• If you want to help people suffering from information overload, simply do not tell them anything.
• What is the use of being a fashion plate if all you are going to put on it is peas?
• Beauty takes practice - Having a dull hairstyle is like putting an olive on top of a chocolate sundae. It makes your whole appearance unappetizing.

       (taken from Looney Runey's Scribblings)

And how about some interesting trivia like this:

Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use 'mayday' as their call for help?

Answer: This comes from the French word "m'aidez" - meaning "help me" - and is pronounced 'mayday'.

Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

Answer: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks'. When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. and it caught on.

(Above contributed by Howie)

Then, we read this one entitled "Things I Learnt from My Mother" by Aldous Appleby:

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

'Just wait until we get home!'

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

'You are going to get it when you get home!'

My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

My mother taught me about ESP.

'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?'

My mother taught me about HUMOUR.

'When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

'if you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

It was witty and we both liked it very much. Of course, it was meant to be funny, but it did make the mother in me think... Oh dear, what will my son take away from me as a parent? No doubt, this depicted mother had all the good intentions in the world, but clearly, this little piece of humour shows very clearly how the parent's way of speaking can result in the lesson being lost and giving the child a less-than-desirable picture of his parent.

And, interestingly, this piece of humour works, because it is so universal. We can all identify with it, because it resonates with some part of our experience with our own mothers. It makes me worried - Does that mean it is inevitable that all mothers will end up this way? That I will slowly but surely turn into a bitter, caustic, naggy mum?

So, as if parenting isn't hard enough when it comes to thinking about the desirable values, positive habits, useful lifeskills one wants to pass on to our offspring, we now also have to worry about the delivery?! But as a teacher, I know just how important delivery is, because it doesn't just create impressions, it actually can build or break rapport. We all have teachers we liked as well as the ones we disliked in our school days, and this distinction has nothing to do with whether they know their stuff. You can be the best qualified teacher and kids can still hate you and make trouble for you if you are a meanie...

Understanding that now gives me a greater confidence to parent - I just have to remember to wear my educator's hat... Because, unfortunately, familiarity does make one take our close ones for granted and so lapse easily into our uglier, meaner selves...

So, I am resolved to try to take everything more lightheartedly and not be such a grouch, to be kinder in my thoughts and words. It's a tall order for someone, who for the larger part of her life, has been more critical than gentle, more frank than diplomatic. But life is short and I want to spend it in laughter than in sourness. And I would like my child to remember me as gracious, smiley and easygoing than as Mummy Sourpuss!

A Matter of 'Firsts'

It is 5.35 in the morning and I've just given Jules a feed and a diaper change. Looking at him now lying in his Moses basket, I am once again overwhelmed. How did this beautiful being come into our lives? And he is really ours! :)

Staring at him a while longer and it hits me - the little bugger is slowly filling out his Moses basket! He no longer looks like a little wee bit of doll in a humongous basket; he actually looks right for the basket now. And in fact, he is filling out his sleepsuits too. No more hanging little sleeves or pants, where the hands or feet should be. Amazing! :)

And then, I started to think of the 'firsts' in his little life and ours.

This is for you, Julien!

*****************************************************************************************************

The first time we knew about you - it was 18 Dec 2009. We were on our way home from Switzerland and had transitted in London for a few days to meet up with your Auntie Yen. I was feeling tired, so tired all the time. And nauseous too. I had attributed that then to coming down with a cold or something. And indigestion because of the numerous farewell meals we had with different groups of friends before quitting Switzerland. Finally, it hit me that we might have you and I did a check. No, actually, I did 2 checks - one with a normal pregnancy kit and one with a digital one. And both were positive :) I sat in the toilet for a while and just let that sink in before telling Daddy Low. And for the trip, poor Daddy Low was the one who struggled with all the heavy luggages. The start of his backaches... Julien, remember, you owe Daddy a gazillion massages! :)

The first person we told - was your Auntie Yen over dim sum in the restaurant she brought us to - Royal China in Bayswater. She was ecstatic. Couldn't stop going "Woohoo!" I think she was over the moon, knowing that she was gonna be a real aunt soon. When we went home, we saw the gynae and he confirmed it. We then told your grandparents and everyone was very happy. Though your maternal grandma suspected, she didn't say anything until we broke the news over dinner and then she said, "I knew it!". She can be so funny :)

The first time we met you - you were a mere dot in the scan. In fact, you were so small, that we could not have seen you if not for the magnification. But we knew you were there because we saw your heartbeat; you were like a little twinkling star winking at us! And that was amazing, especially when we also heard your heartbeat in a subsequent appointment. You little thing just pounding away for all that's worth!

The first time we saw you move - First, it was just such a miraculous feeling to see you grow into a human shape with limbs. You were like a little gingerbread man filling out :) Then, you came alive for us when you moved. And you were a right active little tyke, flailing all limbs about. Daddy Low couldn't stop telling everyone how you were waving at him. We have never been happier!

The first time I felt you - I wasn't sure it was you. I think it was around the 18th week and it was just a little fluttering really. People have told me that it will feel like butterflies fluttering in the stomach, or like a gurgling of bubbles passing by in the water. Very gentle. But being a first-time mum, I really could not be sure. By and by, you became bigger and I can feel you more and more distinctly. And boy, are you strong and active! I have at times suspected that you know Kung Fu or maybe I watched too many World Cup matches, so you were very inspired to kick, but darling, Mummy's no Jabulani ball really!

The first present we bought you - was a beautiful, incredibly soft, blue sleepsuit from Petit Batou from Bicester. It looked so tiny and sweet and it was hard to imagine that we would soon have a little man in our lives. The little blue suit was a great thing really, cos it made you so much more real to me. I couldn't wait to meet you and put you in it! :)

The first time we saw you in the flesh - I noticed your shock of black hair and thought it beautiful. And I admired your length, convinced and pleased that you will be taller than we ever would be. Then, we noticed your long nails and I thought, "What, Ah Long?!", after which I thought it was ridiculous and dismissed the thought and was just thankful that I took all those horrible calcium pills during pregnancy in order to give you a headstart and you delivered, plus the nails...haha! And oh, I asked for chubby cheeks. And you gave chubby checks, you little cutie! :)

The first time I breastfed you - was in the hospital, after we have been transferred to my bed in the ward. I had pressed the buzzer and asked the midwife for help. Had no idea how to do it. Had always imagined feeding you while in a seating position, but it was so difficult, cos you were so tiny and hard to hold, that in the end, she taught me how to do it lying down. And till today, this remains the easiest position for me. But I certainly remember how you were so adept at latching on, that all the midwives who saw us were impressed. In fact, I think we became a topic of conversation, because one midwife went, "So, you are the one with the baby who is a natural at latching..." Well, Jules, there's your first A-star scored in the school of life! And yes, if I may add, you have strong suction too! Definitely better than even the breastpump, and we have a very good one!

Your first diaper change - you were put in a diaper at birth by the midwife, as I was still concussed (of course!). Your first change was the next morning when you wouldn't stop crying despite having fed you. I sought help from a midwife and she opened up your diapers and there it was: a dirty diaper - the cause of your discomfort. I have to say I felt lost and a bit eeecky and wasn't quite sure how to change you, so the midwife very kindly showed me. And your next diaper change was my first diaper-changing experience. The pediatrician had come to give you your check and when we opened your diapers for her to check, you had a soiled diaper. I still remember how gingerly I changed you, but it was not as horrible an experience as I used to think. And now, changing diapers is a piece of cake! Erm, pardon the pun! :)

Your first pediatrician check - everything was fine and hunky-dory, until we had to check your eyes. No matter how hard we tried, you just would not open your little beady eyes for the doctor. I remember when I first saw your eyes, I had thought that they were like little black pools, little tadpole eyes really. You have long slits and your eyes were still so tiny that all we could see were the blacks. And you were still so sensitive to light, so in the end, the pediatrician gave up and instructed that we make an appointment with our GP and had your eyes checked there instead.

Your first bath - I was still weak from the delivery and so was resting as much as possible, being still in confinement. Anyway, you were so small, fragile and slippery in the water that I would truly have been afraid to hold you. Daddy Low was the one who gave you a top-and-tail wash, having practised in the antenatal class that we attended. Yup, Daddy Low! And I think he did a good job :)

Your first outing - We went to Stratford-Upon-Avon, Shakespeare's birthplace! How cool is that?! Daddy and Mummy only managed to come here in our mid-30s and you were there when you were about 3 odd weeks old! Not sure you could really appreciate it though, but we took some pictures for you :)

Your first fren - is Baby Emily from next door. She was supposed to be due just a few days from your due date, but she came about 2 weeks earlier. Anyway, her mummy and her popped by to see us, when we were still in confinement and you got a little gift too :) She's a lovely girl, Baby Emily :)

Your first party - is your manyue party and we celebrated with our Singaporean frens and Singaporean food, plus the traditional red eggs, of course. All the mummies were talking and catching up and all the daddies were working, watching their babies. Hard work... Heheheh...:)

Your first big city - was London. We had gone to send your maternal grandparents to Auntie Yen's house. And in the bedroom, when I was nursing you, you very generously helped your grandparents to remember you by burping out milk on a pillow and the duvet cover. I am not sure Auntie Yen was too happy about that :) but we did manage to persuade her to help you change your diapers, and that was her first time! :) And for dinner, we had Turkish food that day. Amazing grilled mackerel! And oh, in Auntie Yen's house, you enjoyed the big brown, comfortable, leather beanbag, apparently, Uncle Ben's birthday present one birthday. Maybe, one day, he can be convinced to give it to you! Heheheh... :)

The first IMD frens you met - ... when you were inside me were Uncle Dave and Auntie Kate from Down Under. They had come up especially to Milton Keynes to catch up with Mummy and Daddy, when they wete transitting to go home after their epic touring. Uncle Dave had become Robinson Crusoe from the travails of travelling, while Mummy has become a hippopotamus with you growing rapidly inside. Luckily, Daddy Low and Auntie Kate escaped unscathed from the ravages of time! :) (Oh, did I mention that you share the same birthdate as Uncle Dave (according to him, the day of great minds :)?

... When you were outside of me were Uncle Brad, Auntie Cindy, Uncle Prashant, Auntie Swati, Baby Kavya, Auntie Ruslana, and Uncle Oren and Auntie Anita. We had gone one Sunday to meet up with them, because Uncle Oren and Auntie Anita were in town. We went to Villandry bistrot in Chiswick and everyone was impressed by your crown of black hair. Uncle Oren wanted to find out more about parenting tips, because Auntie Anita is having a baby soon. So, both of them got to hold you and Uncle Oren tried out your Bababing baby bag too. We gave them a lift home and they sat beside you in the backseat.

Your longest trip - was to Hastings. We had gone to visit your Grandauntie Kat. Took us 3 hours there and 3 hours back. Was quite an ordeal. Had to feed you in the car; luckily, we went prepared with hot water and milk! We had Indian curry that night, and you seemed none the worse for it! Am pleased, cos we love curry and would love you to love it too. Family curry night in future... What do you think? :)

*****************************************************************************************************

Now, that's quite a list! And I'm glad I have it down for you now, so that I won't struggle to remember this, when I am battling senility in old age! :) ok, I'm going back to sleep! :)

PS: I just want to tell you, Bao Bao, everyday I love you more and more. Muacks!

A Lazy Thursday Afternoon

As we drove along this week, it struck me that the trees are now wearing a livery of red, orange and yellow. Besides admiring the beauty, I was amazed by how fast time has flown by - when we had first arrived in March, the trees were bare and only sporting knobbly, gnarled branches. I had even thought the two bay trees in our garden were dead and beyond hope. But even as my little bump grew, so had the earth come to life and the leaves sprouted out from the trees and gardens came all abloom. And now that Julien is with us, it is hardly surprising that the seasons have marched along and brought us august autumn.

Daddy Low having brought the in-laws out for sightseeing, it was the first day for a long time that I have Julien to myself. It felt like a luxury - this day to just chill with my little buddy. After Daddy Low kissed us goodbye, we woke up shortly after, in fact early by our usual standards - 9.30am. Yet, the day still seemed to speed past. I had a glass of milk, fed Julien, changed his diaper, then decided he was too yucky and decided to top and tail him. After that, I hung out the laundry. And it being a surprisingly beautiful sunny autumn day, we went for a spontaneous walk with our neighbor C and baby Emily. Julien's first "buggy walk" :)

Glorious glorious day and a really lovely walk. We checked out a new path and was aiming to get to Willen Park, but turned back halfway, cos it seemed still far off and feeding time was near. Stopped at the neighbourhood mummy-and-child Surestart centre and I was really glad to find it so near us. And there, Julien started to cry for milk, so it was lucky we turned back.

Once back home, I fed Jules, then prepared my own lunch. And we rested for a bit before I gave him his bath and we tried on his real nappies. I have been meaning to try these expensive real nappies, but have been holding off 'cos we have grown so used to disposables. Not quite familiar with the real nappies, but am glad I tried anyway. The disposables are definitely better - they give you peace of mind. The real nappies are a whole different kettle of fish; the first one was alright, but the second one leaked. And so I had to change his bedsheets as well! But well, at least we tried. And I do want to persist.

When I saw him sleeping so soundly, I decided I have to take the chance to have my shower. He was still sound asleep when I came out and I felt really pleased. No feeling of pressure or getting panicky. Man, I can deal with being alone with Baby if he always behaves like this :) I started on the ironing next, but couldn't get too far before he woke up for his feed. So ironing crossed over to his feed, which then crossed over to my dinner. But I must say 6 weeks into my job as mother, I am no longer as panicky. In fact, when Jules started to fuss and cry for his milk, I actually told him not to panic, that food was on the way! Haha... That's the difference experience makes :)

And his dinner done, my dinner done and the ironing done, I settled down with a sleeping Jules in my arms to catch some telly. It's been a slow, lazy day, but I have enjoyed it thoroughly. What do you call this? I guess - simple domestic bliss! :)

Our little cherry tree

Headstart with Bookstart!

Everyone who's visited us in UK have made this observation to us - the country's full of babies. An uncle had said that he felt he was at risk of being run down by a baby buggy every time he walked on the pavements here. In fact, it seems common to see families with 4 children in tow and so multiple baby buggies is hardly a rare sight.

I guess that's why it is not surprising to find that here, the pregnancy/childbirth industry is huge and ante- and post-natal care superb. Or these could be in response to the high birth rate here, who knows? Public health services here are free, meaning childbirth is free. There are all sorts of grants available for application for British citizens, so something is bound to suit one. A British citizen preggie can also apply to have her prescription costs paid for by the state as well as receive a grant, basically some preggie pocket money to support you in your pregnancy, up to you to spend on baby stuff, maternity stuff, vitamins etc. And the child once delivered, can apply to have a child start-up fund, basically some seed money to start his savings account. Ok, we don't qualify mostly, since we are not British citizens, but it certainly makes you appreciate the state's help, no matter the criticisms of the welfare state.

After delivery, a community midwife makes about 3 home visits to check on you and baby's progress. Once discharged by the midwife, the health visitors take over. 1 home visit and the rest are trips made by us to the health visitors' office to have Baby weighed and any questions, doubts clarified. At the 6th week mark, both Baby and I get one check-up at the GP's and Baby gets a 6 week check and weighing at the health visitor's office again. Then starts the vaccinations.

So, today, we brought Julien for his 6 week checks, the doctor cleared him and so did the health visitor. He is now a healthy 5.04kg, as heavy as a sack of rice and that explains the aching backs and arms both of us are experiencing. But he has also "progressed" so much in that he is more alert and aware now and always looking about, checking out his environment. He tries to lift his neck to look around, when we hold him on our shoulder and he increasingly smiles, giggles and makes gurgling noises. In short, he has become a big boy and a more and more interactive baby. It still amazes me how all this growth has been managed just on milk!

We were very pleased by the outcomes of our visit. And the icing on the cake? A Bookstart gift pack for babies. Basically, we received some free books to start Julien on his love affair with books. There are beautifully illustrated leaflets inside the pack to explain why babies should start interacting with books from birth and cajole otherwise-reluctant parents to start establishing this habit. There is a laminated card of nursery rhymes, again with lovely and engaging illustrations. And a few books suitable for babies - lots of pictures and a few words.

If there's any topic close to my heart, it's the importance of reading. And that gift pack really touched me. I thought what a wonderful idea it is - to educate and encourage parents about the importance of reading. And what a wonderful gift for the kids - a love for reading! Intrigued by the movement, I checked it up on Internet. And this is what I found:

"Bookstart is the national programme that encourages all parents and carers to enjoy books with children from as early an age as possible. It is administered by the national independent charity Booktrust. It is a public and private partnership and is sponsored by over 25 children's publishers.

Bookstart began in 1992 in Birmingham with a pilot project involving 300 babies. Booktrust commissioned Prof. Barrie Wade and Dr Maggie Moore to undertake research into the effects of early book-sharing on child development. Wade and Moore found that Bookstart children began school with significant advantages and with higher attainment in all aspects of the pre-school, nine baseline assessments."

But what was more interesting were the research findings of Prof. Wade and Dr. Moore, when they did an observational study, where parents shared a book with their children, of two to three years, and compared Bookstart families with a non-Bookstart sample.  Basically, they found that a greater percentage of parents were more involved in reading to their children and encouraging other related skills like getting the children to make predictions.  They were also more likely to get books as presents for their children as well as bring them to the library. Here are the exact research findings (and I am including them here as a reminder to myself of the importance of reading, in case, one day, they removed these statistics from their website!):

Research findings

• 83% of Bookstart parents read the whole text compared with 34% of non-Bookstart parents
• 64% talked about the story, compared with only 24%
• 43% encouraged the child to join in, compared with 17%
• 68% encouraged the child to make predictions, compared with 38%
• 68% of Bookstart children looked at books as one of their favourite activities 21% for children who had not received Bookstart
• 75% of Bookstart parents said they usually bought books as presents for their children compared with 10% for parents who had not received Bookstart
• 43% of Bookstart parents took their children to the library at least once a month compared with 17% for parents who had not received Bookstart.

It was a sobering revelation. And even if we did not have these data in the past, I know our parents always understood the importance of reading and education. My parents had gone to much trouble to enrol my sister and I in a missionary primary school, fearing that we would not learn English properly otherwise, since we are a Chinese-speaking household. And every weekend, we would be going to the library or the then biggest bookshop in Singapore (Popular in Bras Basah) and sitting there and reading books and then going home with our loans. I had always thought then that it was great that every library card can borrow up to 6 books and we can max out each other's card.

The reading habit was so ingrained in us, that both of us have a great love for books. I remembered my secondary school teacher being surprised when she asked me about my plans for the afternoon after the last paper in one r year's examination - I had said I was going to Queenstown library to borrow books. I still remember my favourite series and character at that time - The Great Brain, a series of children's books by American author John Dennis Fitzgerald (1907-1988). He based his stories on his childhood experiences, which mainly center on the escapades of his older brother, Tom Dennis Fitzgerald, nicknamed "The Great Brain" because of his sheer intelligence.

And luckily for Julien, Daddy Low has a great love for reading since young too. His favourite story about his reading history is how in a family quiz, he had the right answer to the discoverer of America - was an Italian explorer by the name of Amerigo Vespucci in 1497 and NOT Christopher Columbus - and he eagerly shot up his hand, thinking smugly that no one else would know the real answer... and was crestfallen when the adults awarded the point to the cousin, who said "Christopher Columbus!"  I think this convinced Daddy Low of the importance of reading, but also taught him that adults are not always right! Haha :)  So, anyway, with both parents who love reading, Julien has a good learning environment.

So far, I have been reading the rhymes off the laminated card to Julien. And he has grown to recognize the one that goes "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle". Everytime we reach "And the cow jumped over the moon", he crinkles up into a smile and sometimes gurgles with delight. It is such nice way to spend time together! Apparently, we will receive 2 other gift packs - one for toddlers (18-30 months) and one more for 3-4 year-olds. Bookstart also works with libraries and one of their projects is Bookstart Rhymetime in libraries. These sessions teach children and their accompanying parents rhymes and songs and babies from one day old onwards can sign up and join! I am looking very much forward now to go to these activities with Julien and to go through his growing library with him. Jules, I hope you are as excited as me and will have an enduring relationship with books :)

http://www.bookstart.org.uk/About-us/History