Today started with Julien going for his second round of immunisations. He gets 2 different ones at each thigh each time. Just like his BCG shot, I entrusted Julien to Daddy Low to hold, for a firm grip for the injections :) And it was over in a second. Jules was an absolute angel - not one single cry or even whimper... until he jerked and got his thigh grazed by the nurse's needle. He gave out a cry, but after he has got that out, he was soon okay and smiling again. Bless him! He's a really lovely, calm baby.
Straight after, we went for his 3rd baby massage session. I was not exactly sure he would be up to it, but just decided that we could still go and watch how it is done, if he refuses to have his massage. But he was fine with the massage and we went on ahead.
Today's focus was on the chest and arms. Now, the whole massage thing is starting to fall into place - legs, then tummy, then chest and arms. Helen said we will move on to back massage next and I am really looking forward to it. B reported that her baby had really good bowel movements after the tummy massage, and others reported better sleeping. For us, I haven't been able to do the full routine for Julien every time I tried - I think he tires of it and starts to wave his arms and jerk his legs, so we always only manage bits and pieces. But at least, I have noticed that he has started to be more calm and have less of the witching hour nonsense. Not entirely sure it is totally due to the baby massage, but think it probably plays some part.
What I like about Helen's baby massage sessions is that she incorporates nursery rhymes into the actions and that is really great for us, since it means I can also collapse our own rhymetime at home together with baby massage... it was getting a bit hard to find time to do everything - bathtime, massage, rhymetime, storytime etc - otherwise.
Helen ended again with the sharing of another poem - about how babies are individuals and persons in their own right and also deserve respect. In fact, that is the basis of her massage sessions - we always start the massage by asking our babies for permission first. Not that they can answer, but you can tell from their baby cues, if they want to have the massage or not. If they cry or fuss despite the soothing actions, you stop immediately. And we always thank them at the end of the session.
But today, this message of respect and babies being persons struck home for me especially, when Helen shared what she read once at someone's house - That the babies' tomorrows are made from their todays. That our babies grow up to be who they are because of what they observe of us, since we are basically their first models in life... Because our babies are also persons, who can learn from what they observe.
As an analogy, I am the kind of teacher I am today, because of what I have observed and learnt from my teachers when I was a student. I incorporate what I like from the teachers who inspired me and steer clear of those whose style I reject. But I am able to do so, because at the age when I choose to become a teacher, I am already a mature adult with the ability to discern.
On this thread of babies being persons, the conversation went on to how kids feel about their parents seeing them naked and vice versa. How when your children go into adolescence, they start to feel conscious of you being in the room, when they are dressing, while it takes the parent a while to register that, because you have always bathed them since Day 1 and in your eyes, they are always your little boy/girl. And from the other side: when you are a first-time harried parent, sometimes the only way you can have a shower is to put your baby in a bouncy chair and bring that into the bathroom with you. But as your baby grows, it becomes awkward for some of us.
My boy is not a teenager yet, being barely out of his diapers, so I have nothing to contribute to the first bit. But certainly, I can say with regard to the second bit, I have not been able to bring Jules into the bathroom with me.
In the earlier days, when I worry about leaving him alone and was struggling with his crying and my need to shower, some girlfrens have advised me to do just that. But somehow, I could not do it. It is a bit weird to imagine my baby boy with me, when I am naked. Truthfully, it is not as if he would know any better or remember it. After all, he is only a coming-to-2-month-old baby... and this really only means one thing then - that the whole dilemma only arises because of the adults' own socialised thinking and hang-ups. The conversation went round the table with various anecdotes, whether from our childhood or what we have heard from our friends.
And the only interesting thing that comes from the conversation for me is maybe the difference lies in the gender of the baby - I think I would probably feel more comfortable if my baby is a girl rather than a boy. Isn't it funny how our socialisation affects our thinking?
Well, Jules, I love you for who you are. You are the best little baby. And I have always wanted a baby boy first - because I have always wished that I had an older brother - even if sometimes I wish you were a girl, so I can dress you up and we can go shopping and have afternoon tea together when you are older. But, know what? I am sure we can still do that when you grow up to be a fine young man - shopping and afternoon tea are very much unisex activities... and I am sure you would go with your old ma for a walk through the shopping aisles and a cuppa anytime! :)
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