What will I Learn from my Mummy?

Visiting the village of Eversholt today, we picked up a copy of their local newsletter, The Fuddler, carrying local news, trivia and advertisements. I always find it endearing that in small villages like these, you have all these little concerns and gossip and not a care for the outside world. Anyway, I read some really funny contributions from locals:

• If you want to help people suffering from information overload, simply do not tell them anything.
• What is the use of being a fashion plate if all you are going to put on it is peas?
• Beauty takes practice - Having a dull hairstyle is like putting an olive on top of a chocolate sundae. It makes your whole appearance unappetizing.

       (taken from Looney Runey's Scribblings)

And how about some interesting trivia like this:

Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use 'mayday' as their call for help?

Answer: This comes from the French word "m'aidez" - meaning "help me" - and is pronounced 'mayday'.

Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

Answer: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks'. When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. and it caught on.

(Above contributed by Howie)

Then, we read this one entitled "Things I Learnt from My Mother" by Aldous Appleby:

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

'Just wait until we get home!'

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

'You are going to get it when you get home!'

My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

My mother taught me about ESP.

'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you'll be cold?'

My mother taught me about HUMOUR.

'When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

'if you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

It was witty and we both liked it very much. Of course, it was meant to be funny, but it did make the mother in me think... Oh dear, what will my son take away from me as a parent? No doubt, this depicted mother had all the good intentions in the world, but clearly, this little piece of humour shows very clearly how the parent's way of speaking can result in the lesson being lost and giving the child a less-than-desirable picture of his parent.

And, interestingly, this piece of humour works, because it is so universal. We can all identify with it, because it resonates with some part of our experience with our own mothers. It makes me worried - Does that mean it is inevitable that all mothers will end up this way? That I will slowly but surely turn into a bitter, caustic, naggy mum?

So, as if parenting isn't hard enough when it comes to thinking about the desirable values, positive habits, useful lifeskills one wants to pass on to our offspring, we now also have to worry about the delivery?! But as a teacher, I know just how important delivery is, because it doesn't just create impressions, it actually can build or break rapport. We all have teachers we liked as well as the ones we disliked in our school days, and this distinction has nothing to do with whether they know their stuff. You can be the best qualified teacher and kids can still hate you and make trouble for you if you are a meanie...

Understanding that now gives me a greater confidence to parent - I just have to remember to wear my educator's hat... Because, unfortunately, familiarity does make one take our close ones for granted and so lapse easily into our uglier, meaner selves...

So, I am resolved to try to take everything more lightheartedly and not be such a grouch, to be kinder in my thoughts and words. It's a tall order for someone, who for the larger part of her life, has been more critical than gentle, more frank than diplomatic. But life is short and I want to spend it in laughter than in sourness. And I would like my child to remember me as gracious, smiley and easygoing than as Mummy Sourpuss!