Where are all the Chinese?

Not being often in a Western country, it is understandable how one can feel a bit unused to suddenly seeing mainly Caucasians all around. Thus, I was not surprised that my in-laws seem to feel that they have popped into a strangely amazing new land populated by white people with blue eyes and blond hair, having climbed up Enid Blyton's Faraway Tree in the Enchanted Forest.

And amusingly, my mum-in-law's constant refrain is: "Where are all the Chinese? Are there no Chinese here?" Clearly, the idea of identity comes to the fore especially strongly when one is in a foreign land, and we do seek comfort in being amongst our own kind. At the end of the day, no matter where we go, we are drawn back to our roots. After some observation, Mum-in-law remarked one day that there are Chinese here; they are mainly found in Chinese restaurants, either as employees there or as diners. After that, I would tease her by pointing out any Chinese we see around us, be it in the streets, in the malls and say, "There, Mother, there's a Chinese!"

But as I thought further about her words, I did start to wonder - Indeed, we do seem to mainly see the Chinese in Chinese restaurants and the second most frequented place seems to be the supermarket - After all, everyone needs to do their groceries! So then, where are the Chinese? Is there a community here? Is there some place where the community meets which we have yet to find out? Or does everyone just mind his own business and stay mainly at home with his own family? Eat only at home or in Chinese restaurants?

I think when I first arrived here, I was terribly homesick, the pangs probably also amplified by antenatal nausea and the stresses of the transition. Often, I would wonder if there is a Chinese network that we could hook up with. And there are times when I see another Chinese, that I feel much tempted to go up and introduce myself and start asking a million questions about the existence of the Chinese community, grocery shops or restaurants and hopefully, in the process, make some friends. But I never did.

Imagine my amazement then, when my in-laws tell me on 2 occasions, they have been approached by complete Chinese strangers, who wanted to find out where they were from. One was a Chinese from China who was just happy to see another Chinese face, while the other was a Malaysian with 2 children in tow. According to my in-laws, she had run up to them to ask where they are from, after she heard them speaking in Hokkien, the dialect she also speaks. She had apparently been really happy and excited to speak in her mother tongue again.

I started to wonder - Why had we never been approached before? We are Chinese, and definitely very Chinese-looking. And I would have thought a heavily pregnant Chinese woman and/or a Chinese woman with such a young baby would surely have made us more approachable for those interested to make contact with another of the same ethnicity.

But on deeper thinking, I suppose we do not really come across as being very chinesey Chinese; after all, Daddy Low and I converse mainly in English. Daddy Low also once pointed out to me that we always seem to be the only Chinese in most places we visit or dine in. Presumably, our tastes are perhaps more adventurous that the typical Chinese? That we are more able to accept and appreciate the things Westerners enjoy... For example, being foodies, we like to explore local cuisine, so weekends often find us in some local pub or restaurant checking out the food. And Daddy Low and I often joked that the locals must be thinking - Where did these Chinese come from? Who are they? How did they find our little village, our little pub? What exactly brings them there?!

Understanding that we are much anglicized makes me more aware of the ramifications on Julien. Having your Daddy and Mummy speak mostly in a foreign tongue is bad enough, but to stay in a foreign country on top of that just really cuts down on the chances of Julien learning his own mother tongue. And this is a common problem that many young English-educated Singaporean parents face. Hence, my Singaporean friends and I try to make it a point to speak Mandarin among ourselves and with our children. Luckily for me, I have grown used to hearing my mum speak to Julien in Mandarin when she was here and now it actually feels more natural for me to speak to Julien in our mother tongue, while Daddy Low speaks to him in English.

Ironically, after years of finding the Singaporean government's penchant for campaigns funny, including the Speak Mandarin campaign, we have our very own self-styled mini Speak Mandarin Campaign now that we are overseas. So, Julien, let's 讲华语! :)