I think the lesson I learnt today is that every day of parenting a baby, or simply parenting, is a continual process that can get better or even, unbelievably, also regress. By this, I mean that I made a mistake, when I assumed that we have progressed, that Baby has been a darling and definitely a genius for coming back to bottle-feeding and getting into a routine so quickly - basically a 360 degree improvement in one day.
Because today is another frazzling day. So, if I had thought we took a step forward a few days ago and we can only go forward now, I learn today that I was so wrong. That with children, one has to expect all sorts of forward and backward steps, good days and bad. That I have to be more patient and relax. That I can simply breathe and enjoy the moment(s).
Julien was irritable right from the start. He settled down a bit after his first feed of the day, after which I slipped off to have my shower, leaving him in Daddy Low's safe arms. And near the end of my shower, I heard him crying and crying and crying... so, no more co-operative baby today...
Luckily, I spoke to my parents today and Grandpa and Grandma Chong told me something interesting that I did not think about before - that perhaps, the milk flow is too slow now for Julien, now that he is older. My dad said that they had to change teats everytime we kids rejected a bottle. Then, the tip of the day from Grandma Chong - enlarge the teat by cutting a little cross where it used to be the pin hole. I followed the advice and voila! Julien took a bottlefeed after that! :) I wondered why I never thought of this before...
Having my dinner was another nerve-wrecking affair. He would cry every time I put him down, so finally I got him to sleep and started to have my dinner, but halfway through my dinner, he woke up and started to cry. I told myself to leave him be and he would learn that crying does not bring Mummy running to his side. I have to say I think I left him crying for only a minute or two and could hardly bear it myself. In the end, I gave in and picked him up when I heard him choking while crying. His face was red and wet with tears and mine was nearly too - I was really trying hard to hold back my own tears, hearing him cry so piteously. But I have to admit that he was coming to no harm, having been fed and wrapped up warmly against the cold. And in fact, he was soon calm and happy again shortly after I picked him up, making me feel like a fool. His mood then almost makes it seem like he has been like that all along: what crying, Mummy?!!
Later at night, an online chat with another mummy fren surfaced tips about sleeping routines and habits. Felt great to speak to another adult, an adult who understands what I am going through! Besides feeling assured, I also came away thinking that I have been treating myself a bit hard - Instead of shutting myself up in my own misery, I should be asking for advice and tips from those more experienced and who have gone the same way before.
Having my dinner was another nerve-wrecking affair. He would cry every time I put him down, so finally I got him to sleep and started to have my dinner, but halfway through my dinner, he woke up and started to cry. I told myself to leave him be and he would learn that crying does not bring Mummy running to his side. I have to say I think I left him crying for only a minute or two and could hardly bear it myself. In the end, I gave in and picked him up when I heard him choking while crying. His face was red and wet with tears and mine was nearly too - I was really trying hard to hold back my own tears, hearing him cry so piteously. But I have to admit that he was coming to no harm, having been fed and wrapped up warmly against the cold. And in fact, he was soon calm and happy again shortly after I picked him up, making me feel like a fool. His mood then almost makes it seem like he has been like that all along: what crying, Mummy?!!
Later at night, an online chat with another mummy fren surfaced tips about sleeping routines and habits. Felt great to speak to another adult, an adult who understands what I am going through! Besides feeling assured, I also came away thinking that I have been treating myself a bit hard - Instead of shutting myself up in my own misery, I should be asking for advice and tips from those more experienced and who have gone the same way before.
And really, I have to count my blessings. Daddy Low has been really very understanding and supportive these few days, when I have been snappy and edgy. Today, he even made me a big breakfast (everything there, just short of the bacon - calories that I really don't need :) as well as steamed sea bream for lunch. And double portions of rice too to help get that milk going. He knows that is bothering me and he will do anything to make me feel better. I am a lucky girl and very thankful for such a great husband indeed! :)
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