Of BFFs and Girly Girl Time

So I spent 2 evenings with my BFF mother-and-daughter team Claire and Amelia Corkill (Millie). 

Aside:

*Although Millie is too young to come hang out on Friday night*,  Millie is never far from our thoughts or conversation.  

**16 month-old BFFs do need a greater amount of beauty sleep than those in their fashionable thirties --- yes, in our world, "BFF" does not just apply to high school girls :)

On Thursday, at Claire's place, 3 mums, 3 babies and 1 mum-to-be met for coffee, where the topics covered were: children, sleeping habits, breastfeeding in the public, what to pack in the hospital bag, birthing experiences. We had a great time, chatting, listening, exchanging tips and just hanging out together.

I then stayed on for my dinner date with Claire to learn about the great British dish of jacket potatoes and to chill together, watching reality show "New Dating in the Dark", while her husband, Martin, went on to his virtual world of gaming with his online frens.  We had a roaring time giving our opinions about the show, the participants, the clothes they wear, the couple we love etc.  Next, we moved on to watch "Location, Location, Location", another reality show about househunting experts helping 2 couples look for their dream house.  We exchanged views about the hosts ( we so dig Phil, but found Kirstie really cynical and always wanting to have the last say), the participants, the houses they viewed, their clothes (the rich wife, Michelle, had really nice clothes!)

At the end of which, Claire said that she misses having girly-girl time.

And blur Me asked, "What's "Girly Girl"?", thinking that she was referring to some reality show, since we were talking about reality shows just a minute ago and having missed out on the word "time".

Claire, "Oh, you know, girly girl things... watching shows together, talking about them together, chatting ..." and at the end of the evening, she said, "I had a wonderful girly girl time."

And then, it all became clear what "girly girl" meant.

And since we had such a good "girly girl" time, we decided to do it again the very next night,this time at my place.  We settled down on the sofa with our drinks and our chocolate cookies and chocolate-coated strawberries... To our dismay, our plans to watch a video or telly were thwarted by technical difficulties with the video recorder as well as the Cable TV box.  So, the girls are ready, the snacks are ready for a girly girl time, but where are the men to fix the technical hiccups???  I tried to fix the cable problem, code number 25, but even the usual "cure" of plugging and unplugging the system for this particular problem code did not work (which incidentally is also what Martin advised, when we decided we have to call a man for advice).  Defeated, we explored what we could do - a foot soak and mask together, a face pack treatment... We chatted about food and recipes (I was inordinately curious about the quintessential British cuisine - the key items of which I remember: bangers and mash, fish and chips, minced pies, jacket potatoes), about our guys (they both like cars, bikes and poker; they are both not hot about fruits...), about differences in our cultures, about our countries and love-hate relationships with neighbouring countries (hahaha...no guesses which country that is).

And after 2 evenings of "girly girl time", my question is this:  Why do women need this kind of girlfren time and activities? And why do men have a lesser need of this kind of bonding?  

Granted, the typical British man does seem to need time to hang out with his mates at the local pub, but we have also noticed that comparatively, men are also happy being on their own with their solitary "ME" time (Martin has 2 nights of online gaming per week, and Henry needs some time everyday to chill out by himself with his "ME time activities" - pottering around in the garden, surfing the Net, reading the papers or just watching "Top Gear".  During these times, Claire and I see the invisible sign on their heads light up "Leave me alone; do not talk to me." and we keep our peace.)

Are women more social creatures and need more social interaction?  (In the average couple, the woman seem to have more frens than the man and in fact, the couple's frens are more likely to be more of HER frens, who then became THEIR frens.)

Are women more emotional and have more doubts?  And so seek company from the rest of their kind to ascertain that their insecurities, doubts are not unique, but are, in fact, shared across the sisterhood and they are, therefore, normal?  (Consider the 4 good girlfrens in "Sex and the City")

Are women more into community-building and support-network-building as a problem-solving approach than men?  (Mummy support groups like our coffee group are a much more common sight than daddy support groups...)

Are women simply more open creatures than men? (Why are men never lost and never need directions, but simply need more time, whereas women have no issues being lost and asking for directions?)

Or are these differences simply down to the way we are wired differently? And that's why men don't need "boyish boy time" together? (Somehow, that sounds wrong...  Even the language conspires in making us different, cos it just seems more appropriate to say a "blokes night out together"...)

Well, I am no Dr John Gray or Carrie Bradshaw, but maybe you have an opinion or two to contribute.  All I can say is my husband's first gift to me is Dr Gray's seminal work "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".  If your man needs to retreat to his cave, let him, I say. But do not despair, just seek out your BFF and have your girly girl time.  But don't forget to have the man look into the technical bits first and have the champagne and the chocolate-coated strawberries ready!  Chin chin!  =>