When 2 becomes 3

Of late, the reality that we will soon be a family of 3 rather than a married couple of 2 is increasingly sinking in.  I think so far, the baby has been just sort of an understated fact, cos he is safely and conveniently tucked inside me... like a little joey and so we have still been able to largely do whatever we want and go wherever we want, albeit at a slower pace.  A couple of days ago, I proposed to my girlfriend that our 2 families can join a wine club together and had my rude awakening at her kind reply - she will be happy to babysit when we are off to the wine club sessions!

That night, out of nowhere, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Henry thought I had a sudden attack of nerves about the birthing process.  And all I could blubber out then was - what about our life? What's going to happen now? What happens to us after Baby is here? It took him a while before he understood me; he had gone on about how we are ready, at a good place in life, where he has a good job and we have enough space in our house etc ... trust the man to think of the pragmatic side. In the end, I think he thought it was a bit funny that I should have this anxiety now, when I am about to pop. 

With the cheerful sunshine of the next day, we had a laugh about the night's drama. But the question sticks in my mind - Will life ever be the same again?  Well, I guess not.  As one gf puts it - life will be different, but not necessarily worse. There will be new aspects and new experiences to enjoy, that will put a smile on our faces.  There will be no turning back now, and I don't think any parent would want to turn back once one has experienced the joy of parenthood.  Well, there it is ... me self-persuading, self-brainwashing and going by the testimonies of so many other friends who have taken the plunge, I guess I am not far off the mark. 

Certainly, the consequence of that dramatic epiphany and outburst has been that we treasure our time together as a couple a lot more now. Though it is not explicitly spoken, I sense a deeper closeness and a greater tenderness. Henry is often tired from work, but of late, I have noticed and do appreciate that when I wait up for him to come home and retire upstairs to sleep, he soon follows. He may not sleep immediately, but instead of watching telly downstairs, as he was wont to do in the past, he brings his notebook up to the room or reads a book quietly beside me in bed.  These little moments I treasure indeed.

A sidenote:
I do want to refrain from giving an account of the day, but I have to record this bit of today... Our new neighbours who moved in yesterday had a most exciting first day in their new house. Contrary to her planned C-section for 23 Aug, Chantal's waters burst last night after dinner and she was rushed to hospital. Mark is left to do the last bit of moving with their hired van today, while Chantal is still in hospital, hopefully, going through labour. I think with amusement how, my NCT coursemates and I, all first-time mothers-to-be, are wondering when we will pop and have an almost resigned attitude that ours will be late (since one of us is now late by 2 weeks). Yet, miraculously, it can also happen the other way round - fast and furious and without warning. Makes me think the whole morning that I'd better go waterproof the sofa and bed at home and have that hospital bag ready in the car asap! :)