The Nocturnal Life - Night Feeds and Diaper Changes

I seem to lead a double life these days - I'm daughter, wife and mother in the day, and solely mother at night. Specifically, I feel like a milk-at-demand cow plus a handy nappy-changer though Daddy also helps in this sometimes.

I wrote earlier that it seems as if we've always been on this night routine; you sort of forget how it was ever like to sleep through the night normally anymore. But even so, this does not mean familiarity makes it any better. We are still human, and I guess thirty-something-year-old parents find it even harder to deal with sleep deprivation.

I'll say that being first-time parents also does not help. Julien started off on 2 hourly feeds, then, one day, he moved to 3 hourly feeds and you think to yourself, "Wow, that's progress." And one amazing night, he slept through 4 hours and we start to congratulate ourselves that our son has graduated from "little feeder" status. This is especially since another new-mum friend reported the same experience. How naive we were! The next night, he went back to 2 hourly feeds. Later, we were informed by 2 different midwives and the health visitor that babies don't settle into a pattern till they are six weeks old!

Some nights, I start to doubt that I am producing enough milk, since he keeps wanting more. Then, I start to think that maybe, there is enough milk (since the milk glands are actually more stimulated at night), but he just can't suck hard enough to get it out. Then, I think, so maybe I should try to pump it out. Another thought I had was perhaps that he just likes the suckling action, that perhaps it helps to calm him and lull him to sleep... in which case then, I should just give him the pacifier. But at the end of the day, we know the benefits of breast milk, and that it is better to feed directly than pump, so I persist.

So groggily, I get up a few times every night whenever he cries, and automatically feeds him. I have grown used to his pattern - he would drift off into drowsiness when he is done and I'll put him back into his Moses basket. Once there, he would become more awake and thus starts a lengthy self discourse, as he does a mixture of cooing, and grunting. Mostly grunting. We've come to realize that he's already started his own toilet training - 'cos his grunts are the noises preceding a dump. And it would go on for some time as he persists. Finally, you would hear the cannon being discharged and the dear little fellow would let out a satisfied little sigh ... And that is our cue to change the diaper. We used to be amused, but I guess these days, we just wish he would quicken the process, so we can get the change done and over with and everyone can go back to sleep... Because you know the whole thing could start again in two hours' time... :)

Now, about the diaper changing. Daddy Low basically likes to take over this job, since he can't breastfeed and this is his time to bond with Baby (I guess bonding can and does take place over diaper changes...). As first time parents, we are ever vigilant. At first, Daddy Low worried about the fact that Baby doesn't seem to have much poo, that perhaps, this means he is constipated. After the poo came, he worried that Baby does not make much noise to let us know... And if we don't know, Baby may end up with nappy rash. Happily, now that we have learnt to read Julien's sounds, nappy changing is no longer such a worrisome affair. These days, we are just on the debate of diaper changing before feeding or after - before, because Baby tends to fall asleep after feeding and you don't really want to wake him up if you want some sleep yourself; after, because he usually poos after feeding. The strange thing is that among our friends, we have advocates for both arguments, so we are still undecided, though we have largely been doing the latter. It's kind of gross thinking about my baby sleeping in poo...

I guess if there's an upside to this nocturnal life we now lead is that I get to do my FBing, emailing, blogging in the wee hours. And the funny but nice thing is you find that there are many others like me online at this time too. My antenatal class friends and I, who all delivered in August, have been swapping breastfeeding tips and experiences in these hours. You find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone being awake or groping your way in the brave new world of motherhood.