They say time flies, when it comes to babies. And yet you don't realize how quickly until one day the change stares at you in the face. It seems only not long ago when Henry and I attended the antenatsl class and made friends with other expectant couples. And before you know it, we have all popped and were meeting up at the pre-arranged reunion.
That evening, there were 5 couples and 5 babies - 2 boys and 3 girls. And it was funny when I recalled how one of us had commented that we would all be lugging big baby bags plus baby in a buggy when we next meet... And suddenly, time seems to have gone fast forward and we are now in that actual reality - baby, big baby bag and baby buggy! It was the first time I had walked into a house and seen baby here, there, everywhere, either in a buggy, a car seat or a bouncy chair. And they were all asleep! Was a sweet picture.
When it's a gathering of new mothers, you know that no one would be foolish enough to suggest or agree to a potluck. I had suggested a dinner of ordered-in pizzas and everyone thought it was a brilliant idea. As Em, the host, put it, getting some semblance of a meal 3x a day and putting in the laundry in the washing machine are just about all she can manage these days. And I think to myself how right she is. In fact, if I have any more free time, I will be jumping into the shower straightaway!
I guess, for me, what was interesting was to see how the evening progressed. Just before the pizzas arrived, the babies seemed to start waking up for their feed. Julien started crying for his feed first and being shy to breastfeed in front of everyone, we prepared a bottle of formula to give to him. Next, B's baby went off, soon followed by Em's, then Nick's, and before long, Steph's. So, suddenly, you see the women engaged with their babies. Some would seek out the privacy of a room, while others were quite comfortable to feed in the sitting room. And the husbands all suddenly disappeared into the kitchen when the pizza-man arrived.
The conversation among the women turned into breastfeeding positions, tips, frequency of feeds, sore boobs, infections etc... And walking into the guys' company, you would still know this was a family gathering, because the men were sharing their wives' birthing stories. We had 2 c-sections among us and the rest were natural births. It was funny when the men came to check if their wives needed help to get a pizza, and hear them say that they were swapping blow-by-blow accounts of our labour experiences. You begin to realize childbirth is as much as a big deal (or perhaps, ordeal :) for the fathers as well as the mothers and babies.
Then, it was the wives' turn to eat and we went into the kitchen, while the men went into the sitting room and took over the caring of the babies. And the scene is now changed to one of fathers burping their babies or changing nappies. In the kitchen, one of us, who had trouble breastfeeding had retained her baby to ask for help, so one of the girls was trying to show her how to position the baby to get her properly latched. I think, before becoming a mother, I would have found this scene of popping boobs and people helping to position the baby to your boob a bit of a shock, but I think given the new-mum experience we share, this became so natural that nobody found it out of place or is uncomfortable. In fact, it is great that we have one another to turn to, that we have become a sort of support network for one another, so to speak. Even when we are not meeting face-to-face, we are always exchanging emails about recommended measures for wind or colic, where to go for yoga/pilates cum baby massage classes etc.
By the end of the evening, the party started to break for some of us because of a new consideration - babies' sleep time (which certainly is a clear sign of how our priorities in life have changed.) We start to talk about arranging another gathering. It's great to have new-parent frens to share the journey of parenthood with, and even better to know that our babies can have play dates together in the near future. My mum, for one, would be so thrilled to know that Julien has already made so many little frens! :)
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