Triumph oh so sweet!

I picked up a leaflet at the health visitor's, drawn by its heading "Not Naughty, but Normal". Somehow, it seemed to call out to me, to answer the issue close to my heart these few days - "Why is Julien being so difficult these few days? Has he turned naughty?"

And I am glad I did, for in it I found assurance in these words:

1. Babies and toddlers grow up very quickly! Many parents don't fully understand their babies' and toddlers' changing needs and quite "normal" behavior may be misunderstood.

2. Crying is the only way babies can communicate their needs, such as hunger or discomfort. If your baby's crying is getting to you, take a deep breath and let it out slowly, put the baby down in a safe place, like a cot or pram, and take a break. If possible, ask your partner, a friend or relative to take over for a while.

3. Once babies get on the move and become toddlers, they can often seem even more demanding. Sometimes, their behavior can be difficult to understand and what is quite normal behavior can be misinterpreted as naughty or - worse still - deliberately wicked. Refusing to eat, resisting bedtimes, not co-operating with toilet training, being negative, crying every time you leave the room, temper tantrums, biting and other forms of seemingly anti-social behavior are all normal. But they can also be very stressful to parents. Try to understand why your toddler is acting this way. They are exploring their expanding world, learning to be independent, testing their own limits - and yours - and they do not really understand the needs of others. Also, recognize that toddlers have different needs and personalities - for example, they don't all need the same amounts of food or sleep, while some are more sociable than others.

4. Up until they're about 18 months or more, it isn't possible for children to be deliberately naughty, because they don't mean to do anything wrong... If one-year-olds discover the exciting splashing sounds and patterns of dropping food on the floor, they are likely to repeat it again... and again. If you get angry, they will be puzzled, because they won't connect your anger with their behavior.

Right, I guess if I think with the mind of a toddler, I would be puzzled too why my mum is upset with me for dropping my food on the floor; can't she see the interesting splattered pattern on the floor and the cute "splat" sound of the impact? And what about the beautiful swirls of colours? :)

So, I started today with a positive mindset, determined to be more relaxed and easy on myself and Julien. I allowed both of us to sleep later, thinking that I should let myself get enough rest to aid milk supply. The past few days, I had been intent on getting us to change our sleeping patterns - to wake up earlier and sleep earlier - and it had been tough for everyone. So, today, Julien and I slept till 11am, then I gave him a feed. When I checked his diaper, he had done a World War 3, so I decided to give him a bath instead of just a diaper change. We had a nice time; he really liked the water. I dressed him and put him down on the bed, while I got down to clearing away the bathing stuff. And that's when trouble started...

Julien began to cry. It was a whimper at first before becoming a full blown bawling.

And I have to admit, that somehow, it was easier to bear, now that I had already experienced it before. I made myself finish clearing up, before coming to his side. Hie eyes were screwed shut, as he focused on wailing. An idea hit me and I decided to try it out - I sat beside him, talking to him, patting him, soothing him, but never once did I pick him up. And amazingly, he quietened down and soon fell asleep! I couldn't believe it and felt really elated. I decided to swaddle him, having heard how babies sleep better, swaddled. And he did sleep more soundly and for a decently long time too!

I was then able to go prepare my own food and have a nice brunch. When he was 2 hours into his nap, I skyped with Mummy and Daddy Chong. And shared my stroke of good luck. I told them how I had read that at two months, we can start sleep training and that the first step is to change Baby's feeds to once every four hours. This will ensure that he is hungry enough to have a fuller feed to last him longer, thus allowing him to sleep longer. And this would also mean that my breasts get more time to make more milk, and I get more off-baby time to do my own stuff, so it's a win-win situation for all. The only problem is how am I to help Julien stave off the hunger and persuade him to wait longer for his next feed?

And Mummy Chong gave the answer - give Baby a bottle of warm water.

Apparently, this was what the nurses told her to do, when she had us as little babies. And she was also told to space out the feeding time, when the babies grow older. I wish I was imparted this bit of wisdom! Instead, I was just instructed to feed on demand. And even then, I discovered through my research later on, that this term "feed on demand" has been so misunderstood by so many new mothers - that babies cry for many reasons and not just for food, so it is important to not just offer a feed every time the baby cries, but to check for signs instead. And if we feed on demand, which appears to be every 2 hourly for many babies, we end up encouraging the bad habit of snacking rather than having a proper feed. And this can be detrimental to sleep training later on.

Enlightened, I resolved to try these tips out. And true enough, Julien woke up one hour before his feed and started making suckling actions with his mouth, wanting a feed. I was ready with a bottle of warm water and by then he was starting to feel desperate and crying. I gave him the bottle and miraculously, he took it greedily. He finished 2oz at one go. Then, he rested a bit before starting again, so in went the bottle again. And this time, he wiped off another 2oz, before falling asleep. I was ecstatic. I had managed to prolong his next real feed.

When he awoke again for his feed, it was right on time - 4 hours later. I fed him again and after that, we decided to head out, so Julien had the treat of visiting Costco. We had him in a Baby Bjorn carrier and for the first time, we set him facing outwards, so that he could look around. Julien was so wide awake and so curious, looking everywhere, like he was really checking out the place. We were so happy to see him exploring the world around him!

The rest of the evening was as much of a great day as the beginning. He continued to last for about 3 hours before demanding his next feed, but was again successfully persuaded to take water before his real feed at the 4 hour mark. The only difference we noticed was that on the 2 occasions he cried in the evening, it was because he was unhappy with his diaper. Apparently, they had become a lot heavier with all the water he was drinking. Once changed, he was happy as a bird again, and cooing away. And we managed to have dinner and watch a movie too.

The last new thing we tried was to put up a newly bought mobile on his cot bed. We left him there, nicely swaddled, looking at the mobile. And when I checked on him half an hour later, he was still staring at the moving parts, so intrigued that he never even noticed me. When I checked on him a second time, the dear boy had fallen sound asleep.

And with that, I can say that this has been a truly good day. I feel contented and a definite sense of triumph! Success never felt so sweet! :)