Chill, Mummy, Chill!

I met B at an antenatal class and found out we were from the same region. Well, sort of - she's from Down Under. Then, we found out that we were staying in the same street. Next, we are from the same profession. And then, of course, our parents are coming to help out with post-natal care. But the strangest thing yet - our parents arrive in UK and depart on the same days.

So, unlike the other girls, we had the luxury of familial company and help. And we do feel rather pampered really.

But now, D date looms in front of us and both of us are a bit reluctant to let our parents go. Not to mention a bit worried... I don't know about B, but I am certainly wondering how I will cope when the parents are gone.

In my mind, I play with permutations of a schedule for the day and whatever combination I come up with, I am faced with the fact that there will either be less sleep or there will be more mess. And honestly, I have only been able to blog, because I did not have to bother with anything else except for taking care of Baby and myself. And even then, Mum always volunteers to bathe Baby, partly to let me rest, but also, I suspect, 'cos she does want to spend time with Baby. (And I don't reject her help; after all, this help doesn't last long!) So, like it or not, my ME time is probably going to dwindle gradually...

As I muse over whether I might fall into post-natal depression after they leave (yes, it's a strange thing to contemplate), I am blessed with two unexpected encounters. If I am a tad more religious, I would have said these are signs.

I had the good fortune of talking to two experienced mothers who have also just given birth recently. Chantal has two girls, while Mel is mother to three boys. And like me, they are SAHMs in a foreign land with no family support nearby.

Listening to them, I felt like I was acting too precious and making a mountain out of a molehill. Both their husbands are away frequently on business trips, but they both take it in their stride. They tell me not to worry, that necessity makes us experts at all things eventually. That I will find my routine, my daily patterns. The most common refrain I have heard - sleep when your baby is asleep, and dun mind so much about the accumulating mess. The important thing is to take care of myself, then I would be able to take care of Baby.

And I think to myself - this is gonna be hard, but ok, I can live with some mess. But what about food? And a lady from a coffee group had a wonderful expression for it, which I love - that when you are nursing and ravenous and having to cook, it is called "starvation prevention cooking". So, this one causes a bit of a worry, but I'll just start by stocking up on bananas, cereals and other healthy snacks and I am so going to put that slow cooker to good use.

And luckily for me, Henry knows how to iron his clothes.. And mine too :) Plus he can cook; in fact, probably cook better... As well as bathe Baby, change diapers, even make milk (if we need to supplement). So, looks like we are quite sorted after all! :)

But even as I go through my battle plan, what stood out for me most was my 2x and 3x mother-frens' attitude. They just chill. Both of them had said the same thing, even if in different words - "I don't know how I did it, but I just do it."

And it's as simple as that. Sometimes, over-thinking and over-analyzing cloud the matter at hand and become the issue instead. I am glad I ran into these two frens and despite my misgivings, I guess I am half excited underneath, thinking about this adventure that Julien and I will have once we are alone. After all, frens have also told me that motherhood has given them a greater confidence than they ever had. And why should it be any different for me? :)

So, Julien, if you have strange memories of sleeping in a dirty house when you are older, this entry will explain. But you know what, we will both be better for it; you can at least say you have a "chill" mother :)