What's in a Name?

Today, Julien is one month old. And on this momentous day, I thought I ought to finish this momentous entry, which I started long ago at the request of Daddy Low, but it got so big for me that I dragged my feet over it...

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      "What's in a name? that which we call a rose

       By any other name would smell as sweet;"

So says Juliet, as she laments the baggage carried by Romeo's family name in Shakespeare's famous romantic tragedy "Romeo and Juliet".

Indeed, what's in a name? For surely, what matters is what something is, not what it is called. But ask any parent-to-be and parent, choosing a name for your baby is a complicated, long-drawn out process, of which the care and thought poured into it is worthy of any military campaign.  And for me, a military campaign it is, because it is like a top secret mission, a secret shared only by Henry, me and Baby.  And it was only with great reluctance near the end of the pregnancy that we felt more ready to share with others.

So important is the choosing of a good name that countless websites and books are dedicated to this endeavour.  Some are lucky to already know what names they want for their baby, whatever gender it turns out to be. I have a friend who wants her son to be called "Oliver", and so does her sister, in which case then, it becomes a race to see who has a boy first.  For those who have no fixed favourites, it is not uncommon that they have elaborate strategies to arrive at the ideal name.  A couple we know have a whole system to this - they would draw up their list of favourites separately and then go through the elimination process together of the absolute no-nos.  Another couple do a variation of this - they would meet weekly with 3 names each and do the elimination; this helps to ensure that they capture names that pop up along the pregnancy, leaving no stone unturned in this important search.

For us, we simply agreed that we can suggest whatever name we like, but we have absolute veto power over any name the other suggests that we personally dislike, so no negotiation at all in these cases.  Luckily for us, we have pretty similar tastes and we came to a conclusion fairly quickly. Baby was either going to be a "Dylan", "Ethan" or "Julien", and we agreed to make our decision when we meet him finally. And we are glad we did, because "Julien" fits him to a T.

The difficulty lies more with the selection of his Chinese name, because there are so many considerations. The older generation is more traditional and have some guidelines, perhaps strange to the younger generations, to follow.

First, my parents state that we cannot use any character that is already in the baby's elders' names - this means those in the names of our parents (Baby's grandparents), us (his parents) or our siblings (Baby's uncles/aunties), but actually also preferably our extended family... Apparently, the rationale is that using the same character would mean that the baby, who is a new young rising star, will eclipse and even weigh down on the fortunes of the elder with the same character in his name. So, yes, really, it means a whole lot of Chinese characters are banned, and to me, it becomes a bit of a slippery slope, I mean where do you stop?  Anyway, we tried our best and I can only conclude that it is a blessing that we do not know all our elders' full names, since we tend to address everyone by their terms of address - "Uncle", "Auntie", "Grand uncle", "Grand auntie" etc.

Second, my in-laws believe in the counting of strokes of the Chinese characters, since certain total numbers are auspicious, while other numbers would not bring Baby good fortune or a good life. Both of us have no idea how auspicious numbers are derived except that there was a Book that our in-laws refer to in order to determine the good/bad number of strokes... (Don't ask me about this Book; I have no idea what it is.)

These were the 2 major issues we had to grapple with in choosing Julien's Chinese name. Happily for us, the name we chose had a generally auspicious number of strokes and second, the Chinese language has a good range of same-sounding Chinese characters to choose from, so that even if the character sounds the same as any elder's, we could simply choose another same-sounding but differently written character.

Anyway, this experience has certainly made me think about culture and heritage. And I think to myself, that when it is our children's turn to be parents, we are not likely to have such guidelines, since we don't really understand or appreciate the customs ourselves. Is it a pity? Perhaps. It would be a break from a longstanding tradition in the Chinese culture, but then again, as culture morphs and changes with the passing of time, who is to say that these practices that we have today are as pure as when our ancestors first started them? Perhaps, what we can take away from this is that customs and practices will only survive if people understand the rationale behind them in order to find appreciation. For surely, a people without any traditional customs and practices would be a people without any soul or identity. On a larger picture, one cannot deny that life is about change and adaptation, even as we try to retain our culture and practices. And it seems inevitable that as the world becomes more globalised with the exchange of ideas, traditions may become more diluted and fused with others.

But I digress, for Julien, Mummy does mean to explain your name here. And as I was saying, no matter how untraditional or unsuperstitious we are about the power wielded by one's name, every parent does want to choose a good name for their child. Daddy and Mummy did a fair bit of research and discussion on your English and Chinese names before settling on "Julien Low Rui Kai", so this is for you, Baby...

Julien

• In English, this name would be spelled with an "a" - "Julian", but because you were conceived in Lausanne, a French-speaking part of Switzerland, we decided to give you the French spelling "Julien".
• In French, this name means "Jove's child".  Jove, also known as "Jupiter", is the king of the gods and the god of the sky and thunder in Roman mythology.  He is the equivalent of Zeus in the Greek pantheon. He was the patron deity of ancient Rome, ruling over laws and social order.
• "Julien" also means one who is youthful. Looking at you, we think you will be a happy baby, and always youthful at heart, ready for an adventure, just like Daddy and Mummy.
• We also like the fact that "Julien" is a variant of the name "Julius", so in that sense, you share the name of one of history's famous men - Gaius Julius Caesar (13 July 100BC - 15 Mar 44BC). Roman general and statesman, Caesar played a critical role in transforming the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire, and even people who are not familiar with history know this name.  So, regardless of how different people feel about him, there is no doubt he was a man of greatness.

Rui Kai 睿凯

Chinese is not your parents' strongest language. We could have gone to a Chinese fortune teller to ask for advice on names, but well, we decided that we wanted to choose your name ourselves.

"Rui Kai" is a present from both of us, because we chose a character each - Daddy chose "Rui" and Mummy chose "Kai", because we like the sounds of each characters and the sound of it when combined.  Then, we checked the meanings of the various characters of these sounds and were very pleased to find these 2 specific written characters that not only met our criteria but also held such great meanings.


Rui 睿

This character means "wise and far-sighted" and we hope you will be like your name in terms of intelligence and judgement.

Kai 凯

We like "Kai", because as a name, it is also easy to use and remember, even for other cultures, so you have the benefit of another easy-to-remember name, besides the very charming "Julien". 

This character means "victorious, triumphant" and we wish for you that you will be successful in every endeavour and venture in your life.

 

Interestingly, we also found a link with kingliness in the two characters. 

• This "rui" is a term of address for the emperor in ancient times, so for example, "rui duan" would refer to the emperor's decision, while "rui de" would refer to the emperor's kindness.  This "rui" is also a reference to Confucius, the much admired Chinese thinker and philosopher.
• The "kai" we chose is apparently the same character used in the Chinese version of Julius Caesar's name "kai sa da di" (凯撒大帝) , which is an amazing link to Julien's name with Julius Caesar's!

Yes, it is a good, promising name, so, we, as parents, have done our best in this quest to give you as good a headstart as possible. Now, it is up to you to live up to this name and do it justice.

 

Julien at one month old